A fictional character who is the figure head of the Christian faith. One of 4,200 religions here on planet earth. There is absolutely no historical evidence at all that he ever existed. None. Jesus didn't die on a cross as it is physically impossible to nail a human to a crucifix and that human defeat gravity. Jesus was not born without his father impregnating his mother, that is completely impossible and goes against anything science and medicine tells the human race today. Jesus and his cultists do not believe in science or medicine. Logic and common sense are also viewed as an attack on "faith" which allows his followers, especially here in the States of America, to cry and bitch about ANYONE who disagrees with their infantile bullshit. Jesus was invented so that Christians could control other humans, especially women. This is also a common thread in almost all religions which not only degrade women, it allows wars to be fought in his name killing millions of non combatants and blaming other religions for being somehow wrong. Catholics use Jesus to rape and sexually assault under age boys by the tens of thousands while their supposed conduit to "heaven" turns a blind eye to the cancer. They would rather murder women for getting an abortion than stop all of the pedophiles infesting their church. Jesus is also a grift for churches here in the States of America.
Soldier 1: Oh man, that was a close one! That almost hit me!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
Soldier 2: Jesus fucking christ that was close!
Some zealot: Do you have Jesus in your heart?
Poor bastard: No it's blood. Who the fuck is Jesus?!
Joel Osteen: Jesus has a plan for you!
My asshole: Joel, go fuck yourself you goddamn Jesus grifter!!
by Asymmetric shits for trump September 28, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. by BombTBomb March 3, 2021
Get the Suffering for Jesusmug. by poopsock. March 31, 2022
Get the Jesusmug. A caring kid who loves his friends and is smart,wise,cute,handsom,and Athletic. He will be shy to girls, specially to pretty blonde ones and will specially like Madisons or hazel eyed girls. He will always defend people he loves or cares about. If you have a Jesus as a guy or person you line ir care for do not let him go.
by Tigres 10 November 15, 2018
Get the Jesusmug. A beverage whose name is derived from the Indonesian phrase "jeruk susu", meaning "orange with milk". This creamy, citrusy drink is a popular refreshment among locals.
After a long day in the sun, nothing beats a cold Jesus to cool off—it's the perfect mix of tangy and sweet!
by Emotional Cruiser July 16, 2025
Get the Jesusmug. A attention seeking male. One might see him and say “ there that fag goes”. He is most commonly known for not excepting rejection and for playing for the “wrong team”. He loves to be respectfully to adults but hates girls unless they like him. Is a pathological liar and lies to make himself feel better.
by Truthwithurmom November 21, 2023
Get the Jesusmug. 