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AI Jesus

You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.
Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."
by Hym Iam June 7, 2024
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Jesus

biggest liar ever, will break your heart, bad-looking, acts sweet, is actually a bitch.
Jesus is a big lying bitch.
by culurful October 16, 2021
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Jesus Christ

A men who has witnessed a lot incidents
He crossed right when a car was coming
YOU: Jesus Christ!
by Professional Complainer May 21, 2023
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Dirty Pirate Jesus

When a man is receiving oral, and just before he ejaculates, he pulls his member from her throat(or mouth) and nuts in her eye, similar to an Angry Pirate, but then shouts "May the Power of Christ Compel You!" And does the cross hand motions(head, genitals, left then right shoulders) and hits her with the V8 forehead palm-tap, causing her to stumble and fall backwards.
Janice thought she was about to swallow Tom's huge load, but instead found herself in a staredown with Dirty Pirate Jesus as Tom ran off maniacally giggling about "Exercising Hoe Demons"
by Captain Snackpack January 3, 2024
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Jesus Chirst

Jesus Chirst, not to be confused with Jesus Christ, is what atheists believe in.
by Delerium_22 November 6, 2025
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Jesus (the guy with the note8)

Jesus is a mexican guy who almost got banned from the tomia.ly server and he also got a samsung note 8 that has a verizon rom which gives him nightmares, also Jesus Wants to Sue Verizon

He is also very gay
Jesus (the guy with the note8) hates verizon because his phone is locked
by Arandomtechguy July 13, 2022
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Jesus

"Jesus is my lord and savior"
"Mine too bro, thanks be to god"
"Amen"
by poopsock. March 31, 2022
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