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Mid-life Douche

A sub-species of douche between the ages of 30-45, usually divorced. While this particular douche may have once been a decent human being, the onset of a Mid-life Crisis leads to increasingly douchey behavior and eventually, the transformation into a total douche. The Mid-life Crisis Douche will often begin drinking excessively and/or doing a large quantity of illegal drugs and will sleep with or attempt to sleep with much younger women in order to recapture his youth. He will also become obsessed with the gym and will begin buying expensive, tight fitting clothing to show off his "new physique." He will also have an increasing need to be the center of attention; especially when intoxicated. He often uses humor to gain the attention of those around him, and he often resorts to making jokes at the expense of others to distract himself from his own crippling insecurities. The Mid-life Douche can be spotted in clubs dancing awkwardly next to much younger girls, or in a local bar drinking excessively, laughing at his own jokes, or telling stories of his "conquests." This is a degenerative condition. Once someone begins the slide into Mid-life douchebaggery, it is only a matter of time before they morph into a full blown douchebag.
Man, ever since Sean hit 35 he's started to become a Mid-life douche!
by doucheh8er June 11, 2011
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la douche

Où es la douche?
(where is the shower?)
by Anaba June 2, 2005
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beer douche

much like a wine snob but a bit more low-brow, the beer douche is an expert on all things beer
"As soon as he started talking about an aftertaste of raspberries mingling with the hops I knew he was a beer douche."
by drjen September 1, 2009
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daisy douche

A man who wears extremely short shorts that threaten to reveal his family jewels.
Check out that daisy douche running across the street! Men should not be allowed to wear shorts THAT short.
by blobcat October 23, 2008
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Dickman Douche

A cunt of the highest order. A cunt so cunty all other cunts are measured by her cuntyness.
"Did you see what that awful broad wrote? " , "yeah, what a dickman douche"
by Dace Solo December 9, 2016
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Coca Cola douche

(n) The practice of rinsing the vaginal vault with a carbonated beverage, such as a cola drink. The can or bottle is usually agitated vigorously post coitus, and the ensuing spray is directed towards the vaginal opening. In the 1950s, prior to availability of the oral contraceptive pill, this was considered a form of birth control, and Coca cola was thought to have some spermicidal properties. Referred to in the song "Coca Cola Douche" by 60s New York band, The Fugs.
Archie: Oh no, my rubber burst!
Betty: Never mind, give me a Coca Cola douche.
by Dr Merkin March 14, 2009
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Were-douche

1.To be a cool while in person but once out of site becomes an automatic douche.
2.One who has frequent angry outbursts.
Man, Travis is a total were-douche?
really? I thought he was alright.
yea, thus the were-douche
by gzcl July 19, 2007
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