a digital corporate sphincter whose only function is to spew an unrelenting shitspout of projectile spammorhea in one's face, mixed with partially-digested chunks of redundant content from the web.
For every app that helps you get laid, there are a thousand more for burger chains or butthole lozenges.
by Stustudio August 5, 2017
Get the appmug. " - Are you still shopping in the Klarna app?"
"- Stop bothering me Tyler, I’m basically spending to save."
"- Stop bothering me Tyler, I’m basically spending to save."
by VON_Schlippenbach June 9, 2020
Get the Klarna appmug. Here are a few ways to make yourself popular on big-name dating apps like Tinder, especially in big cities. Here are a few (unwritten!) rules in exact ascending (beginning) order:
Photofeeler
Use Photofeeler. If you don't know what that website is, search it up on your bar. Photofeeler is THE ONLY reliable website to measure your looks. Aim for 20 to 40 votes, which is the standard factor.
EMPATHY-associated pictures are always encouraged. A picture of you next to a gentle pet - a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a goldfish, or such similar beings - will increase your matches by a vast percentage.
DON'T EVER use any pictures where you are posing near or inside a car or truck, regardless of how nice it looks. JUST DON'T. Unless gold diggers are what you're aiming for, please avoid the car pictures. And ESPECIALLY stay away from a car your parent or boss owns.
For reuse on dating apps
In addition to the entire Photofeeler section written above, make sure that when you are finished, prioritize the one with the highest total score (all photos should have attractiveness scores of no less than 5.0 out of 10, with an absolute minimum "confidence interval" rating of 4.0 out of 10). Contrary to popular belief, attractiveness alone will NOT get you dates. But smartness and trustworthiness combined with attractiveness will earn you multiple dates and even a whole relationship.
DO NOT mention politics or religion especially if your attractiveness score is less than 7.0.
Photofeeler
Use Photofeeler. If you don't know what that website is, search it up on your bar. Photofeeler is THE ONLY reliable website to measure your looks. Aim for 20 to 40 votes, which is the standard factor.
EMPATHY-associated pictures are always encouraged. A picture of you next to a gentle pet - a dog, a cat, a rabbit, a guinea pig, a goldfish, or such similar beings - will increase your matches by a vast percentage.
DON'T EVER use any pictures where you are posing near or inside a car or truck, regardless of how nice it looks. JUST DON'T. Unless gold diggers are what you're aiming for, please avoid the car pictures. And ESPECIALLY stay away from a car your parent or boss owns.
For reuse on dating apps
In addition to the entire Photofeeler section written above, make sure that when you are finished, prioritize the one with the highest total score (all photos should have attractiveness scores of no less than 5.0 out of 10, with an absolute minimum "confidence interval" rating of 4.0 out of 10). Contrary to popular belief, attractiveness alone will NOT get you dates. But smartness and trustworthiness combined with attractiveness will earn you multiple dates and even a whole relationship.
DO NOT mention politics or religion especially if your attractiveness score is less than 7.0.
by DeezPeanuts May 19, 2022
Get the Life Hacks to Get Matches on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, & Other Dating Appsmug. Hym "Well NOW... There's a female orgasm app (I can't remember the name) and the SALES PITCH... IS LITERALLY THE THING I SAID! Have you seen the commercial? Have you see the ad? If you have and you know who I am then you know that I am CORRECT A-FUCKING-GAIN!!! And now there's an app to help you become like me! It's like the fruit from the tree of knowledge. You can use that app to become like ME. A person who isn't completely full of shit! Isn't that nice? But you'll only 'be like me' in the 'not full of shit' sort of way. You won't be a genius. You won't be better than everyone. And you CERTAINLY won't be always-right. Only I can be thoughs things. So... Yeah. Buy the app. And take my money and let me hit it."
by Hym Iam September 22, 2023
Get the Female orgasm appmug. When you are watching your app load for so long, you forget to blink and tears form in your eyes because of the lack of liquid.
John: "Aw shit this app is never going to load"
Fred: "Man how long you been watching that damn app?"
John: "I don't know"
Fred: "Well it's obviously been awhile cuz you got Sad App Syndrome"
Fred: "Man how long you been watching that damn app?"
John: "I don't know"
Fred: "Well it's obviously been awhile cuz you got Sad App Syndrome"
by iLikeEatingApple March 1, 2013
Get the Sad App Syndromemug. When u whip up some good shit and make them booty cheeks clap, that's a sign the food is about to be lit my nigga. Prepare for some good shit fam
by Realgangstermynigga December 6, 2016
Get the Scone app the beefmug. Josh App
The home to the best of creativity and the land of endless entertainment!
Josh is the cure to a bad day and the secret to warding off boredom at all times.
The home to the best of creativity and the land of endless entertainment!
Josh is the cure to a bad day and the secret to warding off boredom at all times.
by MADMANRAJA November 22, 2021
Get the Josh Appmug.