Once upon a mattress

A term used when someone wants to elude to a sexual encounter between two of more people

Matt: "hey Sam, I heard you met someone new on tinder!"

Sam: "Once upon a mattress . . . "

Matt: "Say no more man, I know how this is gonna end."

by Sexual Conotations October 3, 2017

Mattress humper

Someone that spends more time masturbating than having a life.

"im not talking to some fucking mattress humper"

by H0nyoka December 8, 2024

Dumpster Mattress Blowjob

The act of receiving a less than stellar blowjob from some rando life coach behind a dumpster on top of a mattress after bar close.

Life Coach: Hi dude I never met before 10 minutes ago! Want to cuddle on this perfectly good mattress that was thrown away?
Dude: Ummm, ok.

(Both lie down together)
Life Coach: Want to make out?
Dude: Sure why not?
(Proceed to make out)
Dude: Hey you're not bad with your tongue.
Life Coach: You have no idea! Would you like a dumpster mattress blowjob!?
Dude: Yolo

by Cockopotomous January 10, 2018

Marine mattress

A chick who bangs marines 24/7

She's such a marine mattress

by Naughty kitty January 12, 2015

Wrestling the mattress

wrestling the mattress is when you get so drunk you get carpet burn from performing random nondescript acts on a mattress

Jamal: Dude did you see that weird mark on Conner's ass?
Grayson: Yhea man, I think he was wrestling the mattress.

by whattheduckfuck May 4, 2014

Mattress Bearing Bitch

A girl that has a lot of sex. Hooker. Lady of the night. Slut.

Guy 1: Wow look at that girl, she looks so hot in that short skirt with the fuck-me pumps on. I want to go get her number.
Guy 2: Stay away man, can't you tell she's a "Mattress Bearing Bitch"! If you get jiggy wit it she gonna give you the gift that keeps on givin. Your crank is will end up looking like a piece of coral and fall off.

by Ron Damint July 13, 2017

Squaddie Mattress

A female who like to have sexual intercourse with squaddies.
Usually have sexual intercourse in bushes and old mattress in woods.

Originated in front of McDonald’s

‘ She’s a right squaddie mattress’

by Squaddie2479 January 18, 2018