Drunkelstiltskin

Someone with a useful set of skills, especially a rare sought-after talent, that is completely useless because they are drunk all the time.

Example 1:
Rumpelstiltskin: I'm here to spin all that straw into gold and save the miller's daughter. Hey, do you have any meds for a headache? I have a killer hangover.
Miller's friend: Dude, you smell like booze. Also, she's dead already. The King hanged her on Sunday.
Rumpelstilskin: Awwww, noooo! Really!? But I can spin the straw into gold like the King wants.
Miller's friend: That would have been useful 3 days ago when you said you'd be here.
Rumpelstiltskin: Aw man. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad about this.
Miller's friend: Yeah. Nice job, Drunkelstiltskin.
Rumpelstiltskin: I feel so bad. I need a drink.

Example 2:
John: I need some help with my Calculus homework. Do you know anyone that is taking Calculus this semester?
Bob: Well, that dude over there has a Ph.D in Mathematics. I'm sure he could help you.
John: A Ph.D, seriously? Where is he!?
Bob: He's that guy over there in the recliner chair.
John: You mean that passed out guy sitting in the chair with barf dripping down the arm of the chair?
Bob: Yep. That's him. Drunkelstiltskin is a fuckin' math genius!
John: ...

by Beavis Comeavis January 30, 2019

Drunkie

A person that consumed alcohol on a daily basis

Stop consuming beer drunkie.

by Svend_16 April 30, 2020

Drunken Builder

The act of driving through a red light at high speed while simultaneously throwing a brick or hammer into or at the window of the stopped cars

Holy shit ive just performed the classic Drunken Builder

by echo419monty69 July 25, 2022

Dunkle

when ur sleeping with a man who is ur kids step dad but also their uncle

My mom is fucking my dads brother so we call him dunkle dad plus uncle = Dunkle

by Smartassbitxh September 7, 2022

Drunken Prophet

A “drunken prophet” is when you are fucking a dude so hard up the ass he starts speaking in tongues and experiencing spiritual ecstasy resulting in the revelation of the meaning of life.

I was giving it to Alan so hard up his ass last night that he had a drunken prophet.

by AnonymousHyena January 24, 2023

Tub Drunkie

A seriously intoxicated person, male or female, who finds comfort and solace by lying in the bath tub at a house party. Can often be detected by the tell-tale signs of shampoo bottles, razors, luffas, lying on the floor by the tub. These items will have been knocked over by the tub drunkie as he/she climbs into their safe haven.

Partygoer #1: Has anyone seen the birthday boy?
Partygoer #2: Nope. He was pretty effed up. He probably passed out somewhere...
Partygoer #3 (coming out of the bathroom): Found him! He's lying in the shower covered in barf. Poor little tub drunkie...

by danohead June 3, 2011

drunckle

A drunk uncle. IE, every uncle.

My drunckle refuses to go to AA meetings because he's a fat, drunk bastard that happens to be related to my mother.

by Juneau January 23, 2008