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Chav

A cancerous polyp on the metaphorical anus of the UK.

Males usually in tracksuits and baseball caps, legs of the same said tracksuits tucked into the socks. The speculation is that it reduces "drag" when running away from the police.

Females can be observed herding many children, rarely the offspring will know who their father is or even have the same one.
The proper arena for proof of paternity for the chav is the Jeremy Kyle show as long as the chav makes sure on the day that they have greasy hair, a vile attitude and less than ten teeth.

The female of the species most commonly wear giant hoop earrings which can be seen from low earth orbiting spacecraft. The Essex facelift hairstyle is preferred, the hair pulled so tightly back from the face that the smallest facial expression becomes impossible.

Lots of gold tinted jewellery is a must have accessory. Argos is the desired outlet for these tawdry baubles of chav office, the more gaudy the "bling" as it is known, the higher the chav ranking.

The male example of a chav will be comfiest when with 10 or more of his kind, usually loitering outside corner shops and fast food outlets spitting and drinking cans of Fosters or Carling, verbally abusing passers by.

But only when with his brethren do we see the cocky attitude and foul mouth of the chav. That is of course if you can actually understand what he is saying as to the rest of humanity it sounds like the grunting and squawking of pigs being tortured to death.
Imchavinitblud
by The Cuttlefish of Cthulhu August 16, 2010
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chav

scumbag, retard, gay, fag, trash
your a chav "your a scumbag"
by white light fire light January 9, 2008
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Chav

1. See also wangsta, townie.

2. A youth who claims to be "Gangsta".

3. A chav would commonly wear a Burberry baseball cap at a high or jaunty angle, a t-shirt and trackies from such labels as Kappa, Addidas, and Nike, and Reebok Classics, as well as fake jewellry, which to them is known as "bling".

4. Chav's are given many names, such as Townies, and Cackers.

5. People who aren't chavs refer to those who are as scum. This is because they are known to cause havoc throughout Council estates and otherwise.

6. Chav's are generlly known to be uneducated thieves. They usually resort to stealing bling from Jewelers.

7. Chav's cannot pronounce words properly. They use extreme slang terms, such as "Innit", "Ahhh, is 'ardcore mate" and "This bling is fuckin' safe yeah".

8. They are the mortal enemies of skater's and goth's, for an unknown reason.
Some chav quotes:

Le's do some fuckin' skaaaag yeah mate.

You want some beef muthafucka?

Why d'yoo dress in black you greb caaaaunt?
by omgm7kk May 3, 2005
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Chav

Chavs are unsociable little buggers who have as much brains as a penally deprived gorila.
imagine this, your walking down the road and hen some butt monkey comes up to you and says" ya start'in bruv" you ignore it and start walking again , then the little window licker say "Yeah! Keep walking innit bling bling foe shigidy" leading to much hatred and wishing to make them bleed.
Chavs are everwhere and they will never go untill we all put aside our differences and officially murder them all and crucify them.
by Cyberax and Deathmonkey July 24, 2008
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Chavs

Chavs are Degenerates that are the Uk's Equivalent to White Trash, they terrorize towns and only own tracksuit clothing, usually adidas, nike, umbro and Mckenzie. they have most famously destroyed the reputation of the Teenage age group since being the miagority.

The origins of the word are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population.

Chavs have a group ethic to protect themselves from the much smarter teenagers such as the mosher or skater.

Chavs are easily compareable to penguins due to their group ethic and tendancy to waddle, or walk as if they have a leg injury.

Chavs idolize rap, R'n'B, and dubstep artists such as "N-Dubz" and "50 Cent" dappy, from "N-Dubz" is the asbo version of Noddy, a childrens Tv character well known for wearing a form of bedhat as an everyday piece of clothing.

Chavs their own language that is derived from many different places such as they famously use Cockney rhyming slang, Jamaican slang and anything that their freinds use such as "Innit", "Blud", "Mint", "Quali'ee", "Y'wot" and "Safe" to name a few.
Four Chavs drive off a cliff What do you call it? -
A waste. A vauxhall nova holds 5.

Rap, Retards Attempting Poetry.

We can't call them yobos' anymore it's apparently offensive to the scum.

Several theories have stated that chavs had created the S.T.D and S.T.I in britain.
by Machinna October 11, 2010
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Chav

Chav (lazyus scumbagius).

WHERE CAN YOU FIND THEM?:
.outside the local spar
.street corners

.council estates
.mc donalds, burger king etc.

APPERANCE:
Males:
.hair cut short with highlights in (innit)
.fake bling, chains with dollar signs on etc.
.burberry, adidas or nike tracksuit

.baseball cap at a ninety degree angle
.cheap polo shirt with the collar sticking up
.anything fred perry
.any sort of knackered white trainer

Females:
.hair in a ponytail with a fluorescent hair band (scrunchie)
.puffa jacket and tracksuit bottoms or a velour tracksuit
.fluorecent pop socks with the the tracksuit bottoms tucked into them
.reebok trainers

HOBBIES:
.standing on street corners shouting abuse at anyone
.vandalising local parks
.in mc donalds eating their manky fast food really messily
.riding a ridiculously small mini motor bike around the local park.
.drinking cheap cider or alcopops in local parks or anywhere thats got a bench because their legs get very tired you know (and also they like to rip the bench out of the ground for a laff)

VOCABULARY:
the common garden chav is unable to speak properly so it uses dumbed down versions of correct english, here is a list of the words they mostly use:
.Mutha
.ya
.yo
.mint
.u
.yer
.wot
.wowza
.fuka
.class (probably the only real word they can say)
.laff
.innit
.dat
.cwl
(scientists have been trying to work this language out for twenty years and they still haven't figured it out)

MUSIC:
.gangsta rap
.r&b
.hip hop
.grime
(as you can see it's a BIG variety)

by the way i'm 12 and this is my first time writing in.
typical chav conversation

PAIGE: yo chaz lwk wot i nicked from da dentis *<pulls a ok magazine from last year out of her tracksuit bottoms>*
CHAZ:cor wowza it got dem pics' of Jordan an Peta innit an look wot keri katonas bin doin.
GAZ: hey Paige I shagged ur mam las nigt.

All: teehee teehee
by INDIE FTW June 28, 2009
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chav

chavs are retards who think that they're rebels,
lets stand on a street corner and drink white lightening while shouting abuse at some old lady through a stolen traffic cone
ere right dick'ed, i'm a proper 'ard chav me. I wunt mess or i'll get my boiz on you. 2k10 init, BUZZZZZIIIN MATE.
by yourmumscat July 31, 2010
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