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Taint Goalie 

A person who defends their taint.
She wanted to get kinky, but he was playing taint goalie.
Taint Goalie by avbaisley September 3, 2009

Tainted Willy 

The act of poking a poo covered finger into the facial orifice of another person causing immediate smell shock.
My ear smells horrible and I am in a state of shock because Billy gave me a tainted willy last night.
Tainted Willy by candy ass124 January 19, 2010

Tagine Uppercut

To slap one's genitalia hard on the underneath of human or animals chin.

The audible sound emitted from the mouth, is reportedly the same as the noise of tapping a tajine (earthenware cooking pot from North Africa) with a small rubber mallet.
Man I gave that squirrel a mean tagine uppercut, you should have heard the pop!
Tagine Uppercut by WillyWordsmith October 13, 2011

Taint My Hood 

When a dude rubs his taint on a ladies hood.
Mark, whilst rubbing his taint all over Mary's hood, made her cry out repeatedly, "taint my hood."
Taint My Hood by thedirtymaker November 16, 2011

taint dial 

when shitting in a public restroom, one may be afraid to rest your phone on a strange surface. the only other option is to rest it in your underwear as a safety net. depending on how the long the wipe takes, one may forget to remove the phone. once the pants are pulled up and snug, you may dial the phone with your taint
Damien: "i was on the toilet so long the other night, i forgot i rested a mean game of angry birds on my drawers. wouldn't you know when all was said and done, i taint dialed my mom. plus, the phone smelled like burnt tacos for a week."

butt dial
pocket dial

taint wad 

The rolled up kleenex that a man will stuff between your butt checks to soak up the sweat during the heat of the summer.
It was a hot humid steaming day and John was concerned that his taint wad was slipping from his crack!!
taint wad by SugarCube May 23, 2013