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Schrödinger's marriage

A romantic "partnership" in which a parent is simultaneously married but also a single parent due to their partner's weaponized incompetence.
"Why didn't Becky come out with us tonight?"
"Oh, because she can't trust Chad to "babysit" their kids. Last time he passed out drunk and their toddler microwaved a fork. Nearly burned the house down."
"Gosh, that poor woman - wonder if she realizes she's in Schrödinger's marriage."
by Artful_Discourse January 17, 2024
mugGet the Schrödinger's marriagemug.

Schrödinger’s Chopped

A person who varies in their attractiveness, both subjectively and objectively seemingly to the will of the “audience.”
Yo you see that girl, sometimes she’s absolutely bad, other times downright chopped. She’s definitely Schrödinger’s Chopped.
by rweg613 May 20, 2025
mugGet the Schrödinger’s Choppedmug.

Schrödinger's Mark

Schrödinger's Mark is a situation that refers to a student who feels a lack of confidence, such that they are too ashamed to check their mark; choosing instead to live in a state of artificial emotional neutrality - thinking that their mark is both good and bad - as opposed to taking a gamble and having their next few days be either miserable or joyful.

This is similar to the quantum-physics theory known as Schrödinger's cat, whereby until the box is opened (or, in this case, when the student checks their mark); it is not known whether or not the cat is alive or dead - or, in this case, whether or not the mark is one which the student would be happy or unhappy with.

To conclude, by choosing not to check what mark was achieved, the student can live in the aforementioned state of ignorant emotional neutrality.
Student 1: "Shit man, I don't think I did too well on that test"
Student 2: "Damn, you gonna check your mark?"
Student 1: "Nah bro, no way. I don't want my day ruined. Even if I somehow did well, I don't want to take that chance"
Student 2: "Well shit, real Schrödinger's Mark situation, ain't it?"
by dumberthanithink March 17, 2023
mugGet the Schrödinger's Markmug.

Schrödinger's Shat

When you attempt a fart, but afterwards you think you may have let out a bit of shit in your pants instead. You're not sure though. Until you check, you can't be sure.
Oh no, I think I've got Schrödinger's Shat in my pants.
by Tommy Pits December 2, 2020
mugGet the Schrödinger's Shatmug.

Schrödinger's Cat

A nightmare I had back in the early 2010's.

The big, black Schrödinger's Cat jumped on my head.

I woke up.
A big, black Schrödinger's Cat jumped on my head in my dreams last night. I was terrified.
by Vita Smart July 15, 2022
mugGet the Schrödinger's Catmug.

Schrödinger's evidence

In an argument, when one refuses to make a simple search for evidence of their claim; however, they demand that the opposition does so. This creates a paradoxical position in which their belief is true and, when confronted with facts, either remains true or is discovered to be false.

In the event that it is discovered to be false, a second paradox often occurs in which the claim remains true by way of continuing to state it despite the evidence.
"Nobody has proven me wrong yet. Give me a source, I admit defeat. Don't, I stay right! Of course, I can obviously google for myself... but I have Schrödinger's evidence on my side!"
by WEGWEHQWE#HWRE July 22, 2022
mugGet the Schrödinger's evidencemug.

Schrödinger’s doucebag

A person who brings up an offensive topic and then bases if they were joking or not based of the other’s reaction
Todd was a perfect Schrödinger’s doucebag at the bar today
by 05-13 November 25, 2024
mugGet the Schrödinger’s doucebagmug.

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