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Jared Leto'd

A sexual position of controlled thrusting, such as while pressed against a wall, whereupon the man is able to paint the fingernails of his partner for mutual sexual pleasure and a great manicure.
I was cruising round Little Venice, when an ombre-hued hunk with piercing blue eyes and lashings of black eyeliner approached me. I immediately took him back to my boiler cupboard and disrobed. He spun me around and pinned me to the wall; I spread my legs, he plunged inside me. He stood still, and produced a riding crop. With one sharp smack to my buttock, he yelled "Yeehaa", and I was on my way. As I was thrusting against his rigid rod, I saw him reach for my 219 Black Satin Chanel nail polish. He uncapped it slowly, and teased open the lid. Beginning with my left hand, he proceeded to stroke the brush against my bare nail, several times. To my immediate arousal, I saw he too was wearing 219 Black Satin Chanel nail polish.

After he had finished the first hand, I felt a sharp smack on my other buttock, whereupon he exalted another "Yeehaa", while proceeding with a whip and dip. He then started on my right hand, my fingers trembling as I continued to thrust; yet I contained my excitement. As he delicately coloured my nails one by one, I thrust harder, and faster. Finally, he reached my pinkie finger, and with the final stroke we both let out a loud "Yeehaa" and collapsed in a heap, satiated and manicured.

- Oh my god, you wont believe what I got up to last night, I met this super hot guy and he Jared Leto'd me.
by Little Venice January 28, 2014
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Jared Fogle

The world's second creepiest looking Jared, behind Jared Kushner.

He was the spokesperson for Subway (The Subway Guy) because he was obese and lost weight by eating subway sandwiches instead of other fast food. He also made a charity called the Jared foundation, which was only to improve his image. From 2010, him, and the chairmen of the Jared foundation, Russell Taylor, went on a spree of child pornography, soliciting minors, and preying on minors. In January of 2015, Russell Taylor was arrested, he would later plead guilty and get 27 years in prison.

After a long FBI investigation, Jared Fogle was arrested in July of 2015, and was later released on a $1 million bail. In August of 2015, he pleaded guilty, and in November of 2015, he was sentenced by a judge to spend between 13 and 15 years in prison. He was taken into custody and has been in prison since November 2015, with early release possibility in November 2028.
Jared Fogle and Jared Kushner (Donald Trump's son-in-law) are in close competition for the title of the world's creepiest-looking Jared, but Jared Fogle sure wins the title of worlds creepiest-acting Jared.
by Xxxxxxxxfanboyxxxxxxxxxx January 27, 2021
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Jared Leto

verb- To go from singing in a normal voice, to a screaming singing voice that sounds nothing like the first voice. Happens in a short period of time, usually 1 to 2 seconds.
During that song, he totally Jared Letoed.
by BuddyCakes December 30, 2010
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jared harley

Is a "tumblr famous" douche-bag who dates every other tumblr famous girl out there.
Faggot 1: Did you hear? Jared Harley broke up with Aly!!
Ugly Girl: OMG NO!!!!1
by lolslolsolsols January 1, 2012
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Jared Goof

Deragatory name for Los Angeles Ramsquarterback Jared Goff, used whenever he has a bad game, such as Super Bowl LIII when he failed to score a touchdown the entire night.
God damn, Jared Goof is a fucking moron. He can’t read a defense for shit and he is just a puppet of Sean McVay.
by Pyrple October 21, 2019
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jared glen

A guy who has a big heart and can be very clingy. He has a great smile and amazing smile. He is caring and always willing to loosen up but can also be serious when he needs to. He has a great body and can give you what ever is requested wether it’s sexual or not he’s the perfect guy for you.
by Jeraco2002 April 19, 2018
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Jared Kusnitz

Young actor best known for his portrayal of Jimmy in Dance of the Dead, as well as Henry on ABC's cancelled series Surviving Suburbia.
Jimmy: You guys... we're in a funeral home.

Jared Kusnitz is a good actor.
by Đăķåņą September 29, 2009
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