Black Jesus

A cutaway gag from family guy that is way more funnier if you actually watch the clip

“I rode into town on an ass

Yo mama’s ass!”

-Black Jesus

by MUGlol69 October 10, 2021

Jetway Jesus

A mythical figure colloquially known in the airline industry believed to miraculously 'heal' passengers who request wheelchairs or any other form of mobility assistance at their point of departure but mysteriously no longer need it upon their arrival. The sudden recovery is often attributed to the miraculous intervention of 'Jetway Jesus'. The term reflects the cynical humor often employed by airline employees due to the perceived misuse of accessibility services by able-bodied passengers.

After helping a passenger in a wheelchair onto the plane, I was surprised to see her walk off unassisted at the destination. Looks like we've had another visit from Jetway Jesus.

by HappyCleaner82 November 21, 2023

Polish Jesus

Very cool kid known as "chill guy" or "depression god"
Long-hair guy, no-smoke and Shephard lover and not sure about that
Loves life and no smoke for sureee
When they ask me: "Watchuuu doinggg?" I answer: " VINTAGE and I'm good"

Girl 1: Have you seen the new student Polish Jesus, he looks quite focus on studies and minimalistic
Girl 2: Are you sureeeee&watchuu doinggg???
Girl 3: Shephard likes this Polish Jesus for sureeee.

by Lil Khan December 11, 2019

jesus

me, i'm very obviously jesus

Me: Hello
Everyone: Oh my god! It's literally Jesus Christ!

by Unavailable is unavailably May 25, 2022

Jesus Loves You

A statement which you respond to by saying "IN THE ASS"! You can also initiate the conversation yourself by telling someone that Jesus loves them. After hesitating a bit, you can add the additional "IN THE ASS" part to the end of your statement.

"Jesus loves you... IN THE ASS!"

by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 29, 2023

Jesus

God’s right hand man and son. He is a handsome, kind , caring , and a strong lover boy. He also has a heart of a lion and a hard working man providing for his family and friends. Always makes his friends his number 1 priority. He will also make sure that you’re okay and doing well throughout the day. Though his weaknesses are what makes him struggle, always falling in love at first sight and easily being attached to his lover. Girls never appreciate him but he soon makes them realize it’s their lost. He has the strongest dick game in the history of mankind so if you ever have one in your life, keep him.

Girl: Do you see that guy over there? He’s cute.

Girl’s friend: Oh his name is Jesus. Such a lovely guy!
Girl: I always needed a Jesus in my life😍

by Contrabando De lo Dioses November 23, 2021

St. Jesus Malverde

The patron saint of drug dealers.

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.

by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017