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Jesus Sperm Theory

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever
"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein
by Saddam Huissain June 18, 2023
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Julienne de jesus

Amazing. Just amazing.

The true definition to the word friend,
Julienne de jesus is not only the more hyper and crazy chaotic person you will ever meet but she is also the kindest most beautiful girl in the whole world. Although she’s been through some tough times her smile never fails to brighten the room. Julienne thank you for everything Girl Even if this seems cringe and sentimental I mean it. Love you girl 💗💗
“Is that Julienne de jesus? God she look’s like an Angel..”
by anonymous June 25, 2023
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Jesus posting

Jesus posting or just Jesusposting is a subsection of "shit posting" where you use religious quotes in a satirical manner
-Did you see Jake post that fucked up photo saying "embrace Jesus"

-Yeah He's just Jesus posting
by HenryS June 28, 2023
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Jesus Christ

The name GOD gave to his word when he came to the world.
Jesus Christ is the way, truth and life.
by Chijioke Victor March 3, 2023
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Green Jesus

Description for some bomb ass weed that has you seeing the Matrix...
'Chilling at home, playing Borderlands, stoned off my ass on that Green Jesus...'
by otismakesmusic March 10, 2023
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Jesus

Our savior
Jesus is our savior!
In God we trust.
by MunchbunchLunch March 14, 2023
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Jesus christ

Someone who is alive and almighty who forgives you for your sins someone who is very reliable . The person to look past your past and show true love .
I was at at church and pastor said that Jesus Christ is the one who died for our sins . And arouse again 3 days later, that doesn't make since . U can't die and rise again you are a zombie .. No actually if you read your bible you'll actually see that he was destined before time to do this . So much that satin put in the kings head during that time to kill all the first borns. Jesus destiny still lived on bc god may the way for Mary and Joseph to hide and be protected . Before he died they beat him so much bc they thought he was a joke saying he's the son of god. All the blood is an an expression of forgiveness for your sins that Jesus takes the punishment for. They also made him carry the cross that he died on to say in the walk with christ you'll will have to pick up your own cross and keep walking . It's only for the strong ones who can't take a beating and keep stepping forward. Not really picking up a cross just pick up your emotional burden or physical burden and keep moving.
by RomansEmpirekilledjesus March 23, 2023
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