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Jesus H. Christ

"Jesus H. Christ", the "H" stands for "Heli" Jesus' GrandFather's name.

LUKE 3:23, "Now Jesus began His ministry when He was about 30 years old. He was, as many people thought, the son of Joseph, the son of HELI."
I can't believe it -- Jesus H. Christ actually MEANS something!
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Jesus Shit the Bed Christ

A term used to address an event of either unbelievable, hilarious or ridiculous measure. These 5 words should only be used to address the occurence when it is of huge magnitude.

(Note - heavily accenting the 'Ch' in Christ always adds great emphasis upon deliverance of the phrase.)

First began to circulate in Essex, after a truly remarkable display of football acrobatics during a friendly game of 6-a-side, the phrase has now picked up a few more scenarios to be used in.
1) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ! Did you just see that fucking goal?!'

2? 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, that truly was the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen.'

3) 'Jesus Shit the Bed Christ, did you just see that bitch spit a Melon out of her arse?!'
by TerranceGrapes April 24, 2011
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Jesus H. Christ

Jesus Hey-Zeus Christ. Many Mexicans are named after Him. Also used as a cuss-word by the irreverent.
And He shall be named Jesus H. Christ because He shall say "Hey, Zeus, I'm gonna take your place!"
by Reverend Lovejoy May 26, 2006
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Jesus H. Christ

1. A term used to properly adress the lord and savior of the christian religion.

The H obviously standing for hoe master because everyone knows that Jesus had a way with the ladies.
"Jesus H. Christ why dont my hoes give me any respect."
"Jesus H. Christ show me the way to your sanctom of bitches and hoes."
by Prancingwolf January 12, 2005
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Jesus H. Christ

Jesus Howard Christ. Howard is from a parodistic form of the Lords Prayer:

Our Father who art in heaven,
Howard be Thy name...

In the actual prayer, "Howard" is actually the word "Hallowed".

The name is generally used as an exclamatory interjection.
Elf: The Iraqis shot down Santa!
Jesus: Jesus H. Christ!
by FriendlyFireIsOn October 16, 2005
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Jesus H. Christ

A phrase used sometimes in a state of suprise.
Jesus H. Christ you scared the fucking shit out of my asshole.
by guy January 12, 2004
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Jesus-Titty-Ass-Mother-Fucking-Christ

A statement similar to Jesus-Fucking-Christ that is often used in a situation of utter disbelief, shock or frustration. It is arguably blasphemy as well. Can be announced slowly and clearly to express disgust and hopelessness, or loud and fast to alert someone of an imminent disaster that will most likely end in catastrophe.
Also might be a sign of Tourette syndrome.
Jesus-Titty-Ass-Mother-Fucking-Christ! I almost died!
by RebelJosh89 December 17, 2020
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