jehovah's twitness

a door darkener who wants to spread the dubious good news about Jehovah, but doesn't have enough mental processing power to sustain an argument about it.

I just had a jehovah's twitness at the door - he was thick as pig shit and twice as smelly so I slammed the door on him.

by mockschmock December 15, 2006

Jehovahs Atheist

A know-it-all blowhard atheist who has managed to become as obnoxious as a Jehovah's Witness with their anti-evangelical mission to use big words like SCIENCE and LOGIC and REASON to prove whatever they say is true. (i.e. "You should have sex with me because I am Pro-Science, if you don't then you are a stupid religious bigot who believes in creationism and or molesting children!") Jehovah's Atheists usually don't come to your door but they are all over Facebook carefully reading your sentences, making sure there are no hidden theistic undertones, which would require they set you straight immediately. Because obviously, if you are not in complete agreement with Dawkins, Hitchens, and the 19-year-old dude on the Internet who makes atheist memes all day long, you are a bible-humping closeted Christian.

"Oh God, I accidentally said God in a colloquial context. Here come the Jehovahs Atheists to tell me why I should not believe in God. Oh crap, I said God again! Oh no, they're here! Hello...Yes...yes...okay...yes...hey look my new Jehovah's Atheist friend, I really have to go to work now....but....yes...yes...I know, I know about Bill Nye and Ken Ham...yes I know there is no heaven and hell and if there was that would make God really mean...yes...yes...okay, fine. Fine. Please, yes, give that YouTube link so I can educate myself. Can I go now?!"

by AttemptedRapture February 23, 2014

Jehovah's Witnesses

Jehovah's Witnesses are normal people who follow the teachings of Jehovah and The Watchtower. It's not the religion people find hard to understand, it's just annoying that they believe everyone should become Witnesses like them.

JW: Would you like to join us for prayer this evening at the Kingdom Hall?

Guy: How about noooo!

by raffa April 22, 2005

Jehovah Witness

verb - The act of achieving orgasm so hard that you actually see the face of God.

Man, that bitch from the Kingdom Hall and I went out last night, you know the one, the Elder's daughter? Yeah, well she was sucking my dick so hard and she jammed her finger in my ass. Well, I Jehovah Witnessed right in her mouth! I thought I died and went to heaven cuz God was right there. We goin' out again tomorrow.

by Nelson Birdwell June 20, 2010

Jenko

1.An expression of urgency or a command
2.An expression along the lines of "holla." Most commonly used upon leaving.
3. A word meaning "messed up", along the lines of "wacked"

1."Yo homie, lets Jenko, we're gonna be late!"
2."Sup bro, Jenko!"
3."Yo man, thats Jenko"

by S-n-C Diddy February 18, 2004

jehovah's wittness

1a) A cult like socity, that does not celebrate the following hoildays:

1b) 1.christmas! ( omg are you serious)

2.thanksgiving! (code name: turkey: because they belive we worship the turkey!! again OMG!)

3.halloween! ( Demons!! Demons!!)

4.Birthdays!! (yes birthdays!! so whats are still 7 dude it's been 30 years!!?!)( don't do birthdays because someone died on that day!!)

5.any and all government hoildays! ( so on laborday your ass better be at work!!)

2) JW's also are known for knocking on your door!, and trying to ""save your soul"" (on saturdays) and PO people on there day off!! they hand out pamphlets on the ending of the world. (what a way to start your day.)

3) CULT!

4) also a from of hide-n-go seek!!( HIDE there coming down the street!!)

steve: shhh.... you hear that!

paul: yeah!...what is that!

steve:...... O shit!! its those jehovah's wittness! kill the lights!!

paul: damnit i think they saw me!

steve: paul i'm scared

JW's:*knock knock knock* we saw yo ass. we aint leavin till you open the door!!

both: NOOO!!!

by paul y steve November 28, 2009

jentozzi

An act while having anal penetration, the receiver turns around and takes it in the mouth

Wendy gave me a jentozzi last night and it was good.

by scott October 26, 2004