i'd really rather never

To want to avoid an obvious life experience

She asked if I wanted to eat bull's balls, but of course I had to say I'd really rather never.

by GlazeHer July 20, 2017

I'd eat my bread without butter!

What you growlingly exclaim when told that someone did something uncaring/deceitful because "he knows which side his bread is buttered on"; what you mean, of course, is that you would rather risk displeasing the powers-that-be than harm someone else.

Back when I was a frail and tender-minded nine-year-old, my bi**hy second-grade teacher violently shook me and gave me a long severe verbal working-over merely because I had "mouthed right back" at a "spoiled-rich-kid" youngster who had been outrageously rude to me over an extremely trivial matter. At da time I was at a total loss to know why said irritable teacher had been so ferociously defensive of Little Miss Bossy 'n' Obnoxious; it wasn't until decades later that I finally learned that said bratty pint-sized colleen was da daughter of a "somebody" in town, and so I realized dat da teacher had "known which side her bread was buttered on", and therefore when said whiny miscreant went "bawlin' 'n' blubberin'" to da teacher about it, she felt compelled to blame ME for da verbal dust-up instead of just telling dat willful child to "shut up and grow up", as she should have. As I tell my friends when relating the story nowadays, though, "I'd eat my bread without butter!" before I ever unfairly blamed an innocent person like that. Reminds me of da "Little House On The Prairie" episode about da broken music box.

by QuacksO March 18, 2019

i'd ship it

An expression used to show interest in a female by the male but not a absolute.

Hey, do you like ...?

Yeah I'd ship it!

by Indian dictionary February 28, 2017

"if some dude smacked me, I'd smack him back".

a weird sentince

"if some dude smacked me, I'd smack him back".

by a dood hoo iz zrmat October 16, 2020

I'd rather bang CPA

Hell to the no. Absolutely not. Under no circumstances would I do that. Ever.

Q: Do you want to go on a date?
A: I'd rather bang CPA than go on a date with you.

by ILB September 17, 2013

I'd be hohnered

Da reply dat you'd give when asked if you'd like to be da one to play a musical selection on da harmonica.

Da local choirmaster asked me if I'd like to perform a Johnny Puleo selection for da community concert on Saturday, and I told him dat I'd be hohnered to so do!

by QuacksO February 25, 2023

If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beard

Da "parody on da cake-baking saying" remark dat you smilingly say to a cute chick whom you've unexpectedly met somewhere, and you are savoringly pressing her soft warm palms against yer fuzzy cheeks.

I always love joking around about, "If I'd known you were coming, I'd have shaved my beard" wif pretty girls whom I befriend; said humorous remark always gets da biggest amused giggle-fits outta dem.

by QuacksO October 22, 2023