universal payment

When your buddy needs a solid so he offers beer as a form of compensation in exchange for labor.

Hey man, I need help working on my car, you in?
Sure, what's in it for me?

Universal Payment as always.

by 360blazeit March 24, 2024

phd from fumble university

When a guy or a girl gives you THE CLEAREST SIGNS that they are interested in you however you still mess it up.

Guy 1: "So bro this girl ive been talking to for a while asked me if she can come to my place for the night cause it's 'very late in the night' and she lives 'far away'. I said no cause I have to get home for my curfew and I called her an Uber."

Guy 2: "bro tomorrow's your graduation, you just earned a phd from fumble university."

by A Boeing 737 MAX 8 March 26, 2024

Long Wood University

Ah yes Long woo uni where you can go and spend too much money! The food suck the dorms are subpar the town though is very nice. I when to long wood but hell I say STAY FAR AWAY!!! THERES LIKE NOTHING TO DO! YOU EITHER PARTY OR JOIN A FRAT!

Oh hey man what school did you go to?
I used to go Long Wood University.
Oh where is that?
Middle of no where.

by MintFox91 January 22, 2026

Hard Problem of the Universe

The ultimate self-containment paradox: The universe, by definition, is the totality of all that exists. Therefore, any explanation for why the universe exists, or how it came to be, must posit something (a law, a cause, a god) that is itself part of or prior to that totality. This leads to either an infinite regress (what caused the cause?), a logical circle (the universe created the conditions for its own creation), or an arbitrary stopping point ("It just is"). The universe cannot explain itself from within; it is the ultimate brute fact, and that unsatisfying brute-fact-ness is the hard problem.

Example: Asking "What caused the Big Bang?" might lead to "A quantum fluctuation in a prior vacuum state." But then, what caused that vacuum state and its laws? If you say "A multiverse," what explains the multiverse's rules? The hard problem: Every explanation smuggles in new, unexplained elements. The universe is like a book that tries to tell the story of its own printing and binding. The final page would have to be outside the book, which is impossible if the book contains all pages. Hard Problem of the Universe.

by Enkigal January 24, 2026

Universe Harnessing

The inconceivably grand project of utilizing cosmological-scale phenomena and the properties of the universe as a whole for energy, computation, or engineering. This includes tapping the rotation of galaxies for energy, using cosmic inflation as a computational substrate (a "inflationary computer"), harvesting the energy of gradually decaying dark matter, or manipulating the large-scale structure of spacetime to create stable megastructures. It's engineering on a scale where the projects are visible to other galaxies and their completion times are measured in galactic years.

Example: "The Kardashev Type IV civilization didn't build Dyson Spheres; they were into universe harnessing. They'd gently torque the magnetic fields of galactic clusters to generate power, a process so slow and vast it made plate tectonics look twitchy."

by Dumuabzu January 29, 2026

Universe Engineering

The absolute zenith of all engineering concepts: the deliberate, intelligent design and modification of the cosmos's large-scale properties and its ultimate fate. This could involve preventing the heat death by reigniting dead stars, altering the cosmological constant to avoid the Big Rip, seeding star formation in galactic deserts, or even crafting "baby universes" in laboratories with tailored physical laws. It's a endeavor so vast its practitioners would be indistinguishable from gods, and its projects would be the backdrop for the existence of future civilizations.

Example: "The ancient beings weren't extinct; they graduated to universe engineering. We detected their project in the cosmic microwave background—a subtle imprint of them fine-tuning the dark energy density to optimize for future complexity in our galactic supercluster."

by Dumuabzu January 29, 2026

Theory of Constructed Universalism

The argument that concepts like "universal human rights," "objective science," or "global reason" are not truths we discovered, but powerful, persuasive stories we built. It's the attempt to construct a single, all-encompassing framework that applies to everyone, everywhere, as a deliberate project against the fragmenting effect of relativism. While it claims to speak for a "common humanity," its definitions (What is a "right"? What counts as "reason"?) are inevitably shaped by the cultural and historical context of its builders, often being the winning ideology that gets to dress its local values in the robes of the universal.

Example: "The UN Declaration of Human Rights is a triumph of the Theory of Constructed Universalism. Delegates from diverse worldviews argued, compromised, and built a shared story about human dignity that now feels self-evident. But its construction is clear: it prioritizes individual liberty in a way some communitarian cultures find foreign. It's not a law of nature; it's a brilliant, fragile, and profoundly influential piece of global legal architecture we all agree to maintain."

by Abzu Land January 31, 2026