Three-eyed Turtle

Appeared in a 70's issue of National Lampoon describing a sex act involving a train situation - synonymous with "airtight" - one weenie in each of a woman's three orifices - oral, genital, and anal.

Jessica tried the French Kayak with the baseball team, but it was not as fulfilling as the Three-eyed Turtle.

by Rveil July 19, 2004

turtle

Substitute for an 'easy' woman (ie - once their on their back they're fucked)

Gah! Callum! Your mums a turtle!

by Xerxes da Phat February 15, 2004

Turtle-back Sack

When a males scrotum is hard like a turtle's shell.

Man, these tighty whities gave me a turtle-back sack.

by Ank D. Holla January 8, 2009

beating up the turtle head

When an uncircumsized guy masterbates at a fast enough rate to make his cock head pop in and out.

Tony O nearly passed out beating up the turtle head to a Sears catalog last night.

by Tri-State dumb ass's February 7, 2008

Turtle Farmer

one who farms turtles for a living.

a light insult when you dont want to get all vulgar. Unless you want to get vulgar then you add it to a vile slew of words

Guy1: Thats not a tortoise, that's a red eared slider.

Guy2: What are you a fucking turtle farmer?

You goddamn mutha fucking shit rolling dick lactating crack licking turtle farmer

by Crunchyness May 11, 2007

Turtle Socks

-It can replace cusswords used when angry.
-A way to keep your pet turtles feet warm.
or
-It can be a reply to another phrase

"Oh, turtle socks."
"Did you get Crush his turtle socks?"
"Word Up.... Turtle Socks =D"

by DinoDan/Lt.Sexyface January 19, 2009

turtle thump

unsatisfying coitus with an extremely small penis... so small, in fact, it is sucked up into the man's body like the head of a turtle, nearly making intercourse completely impossible altogether.

Brian: "It's just sad when you please a women and they go crazy. She was begging for another donkey punch."

Kelly: "...more like a turtle thump"

by havwingswillfy April 8, 2010