Zooted

Circumcised

RIP to my Peepaw Bill. Know one will ever have such a freshly zooted hog.

by HogInspector November 4, 2021

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Zooted

The state of being fucked up beyond the limits of the physical and mental world on drugs and/or alcohol.

On New Year's Eve, Hunter and I were so zooted that we couldn't stand up and vomited on a cat!

by A 138 lb wrestler February 18, 2015

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Zooted

The after effects of getting really stoned after staying up all night partying

Dude, I'm so zooted my brains telling me to do stuff but my bodies not reacting.

by Btolly September 14, 2018

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The feeling of sudden, uncontrollable enthusiasm that causes a person to flap their arms, shout incomprehensible phrases, or spin in a circle for no discernible reason. Commonly triggered by excessive joy, caffeine, or spotting a frog wearing a tiny hat.

In ancient folklore (that I just made up), being “zooted” was considered a blessing from the mythical squirrel god Blorbo of the Trees, who granted mortals temporary bursts of chaotic energy to escape boring conversations or awkward family dinners. Zooted individuals were marked by their glittery eyes, high-pitched giggles, and tendency to misplace objects they were literally holding.

Today, people may become zooted during moments such as receiving a mildly exciting text, hearing a good beat drop, or discovering that their fries came with extra nuggets. Symptoms include speed-walking for no reason, saying “slay” to inanimate objects, and aggressively complimenting strangers. There is no known cure — and honestly, why would you want one?

my fat ass got zooted when i saw there was free pizza

by urmotherismine May 24, 2025

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