missouri

being that i live in missouri, i'm qualified to write this. missouri is a state in the united states of america, given the name "the show-me state." in this state there are only two good places to live: st louis (stl) and north kansas city (nkc). missouri is full of rednecks and hillbillies, and is largely a red state. lgbt+ and poc looking to live in missouri (for whatever godforsaken reason) shouldn't live anywhere outside of these two cities. they're the most liberal and accepting places in missouri, and you will have the highest quality of life there.

stl is a lively city, with some claiming that it's like a separate state on its own. when visiting, many enjoy the stl zoo or the gateway arch. nkc is more calm, but there are many entertaining things to do while living there. if you want to visit missouri, however, stl is the recommended destination.

another fun thing to do in missouri is visit the lake of the ozarks. if you have a place there and a boat or jet ski, the lake and surroundings are beautiful. many people live on the lake or by it, and while the water is often dirty and tree branch-ridden in certain places, you'll never regret the experience.

it may be commonly thought of as an incest-ridden hillbilly state, and the locals there may often think so as well, but missouri is a decent place to live. while i wouldn't recommend it to anyone, many people will feel right at home here, and it would be unwise to write it off without looking more into the better parts.

person a: im writing a story about kawaii gay rednecks who play banjo and have hot sex in front of their boxer dog uwu
person b: fuckin sexy, where do they live
person a: kyaaa they live in missouri hehe owo

by FxllMxxn November 3, 2020

Missouri Manhole

When a women clamps a man’s asshole open and pours his own seman down it until it’s full

“Yeah bro my girl pulled a Missouri Manhole on me last night”

by Gabe Upsecks December 1, 2022

The Missouri StenchPit

The act of shitting into somebody’s armpit and licking it dry.

Joseph: Yoo Edon wanna do a The Missouri StenchPit

Edon: Yes but I wanna be the shitee okay

Joseph: Alright time too shit on your pits

by NuttButt_real June 12, 2021

Missouri Slurry

The act of mixing sperm with brown sugar into a slurry, then swirling it around in your mouth and spit it into your parterner's anus then eat the slurry out of their anus.

Wanda saw some brown sugar and thought of the Missouri slurry her husband did last night.

by B-ran1980 June 6, 2025

Rock port, Missouri

Rock port, Missouri is a great little town that is proud of its sports and for the most part great people

Wow!! I want to live in rock port, Missouri

by Broski_-_-_-_69 June 19, 2017

Missouri mattress

When you (Jack-off) on your brown recluse bite and then rub shit in it.

Supervisor : Bobby was late for work again.

Boss: yeah he needs to deal with that Missouri mattress or he's not gonna make the quotas.

by PhantomEagle November 24, 2023

Southeast Missouri

So you know how there’s a place called the bottom of the barrel? Well this is the place when the barrel is empty and dry and they decide to squeeze the barrel one last time in an attempt to milk the barrel dry. There’s noone from there and Noone wants to be there. It truly is the Most beautiful place you’ll ever live.

How’d you learn to be good at everything you do?

Oh, well I went to Southeast Missouri state university.
It’s down in Southeast Missouri.

by Riehnbean m January 13, 2022