Lord Jesus Christ

-The son of God who died on the cross so that everyone's sins could washed away.
-Was the only human being to ever walk the earth without giving in to sin. The rest of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
-Loves us so much even though we continue to sin and disregard the ten commandments.
-in this day and age, the world and all its material possessions + the devil blind us from the truth!
-the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

When atheists or non-Christians are on their deathbeds, they will realise then that the Lord Jesus Christ is real and that he is the way/truth and life.

Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
Thankyou for dying on the cross for us!
Please forgive the sins that we have committed and help us to forgive those who have sinned against us.
In Jesus wonderful name we pray,
Amen.

by God-bless-you April 18, 2007

you need jesus

you need jesus is the name of a local rug installer

tired of that hard wood flooring raising the cost of insulation you need jesus can help 666 777 0909

by sanxity July 2, 2019

for the love of hopscotching jesus

a phrase used to replace the word ridiculous when the situation or topic is beyond ridiculous and ridonkulous

So right when I was about to cum I pulled out and donkey punched her.

..For the love of hopscotching jesus..really?

by mjbj3189 January 24, 2010

homeless jesus

exactly what it says...homeless Jesus. God kicked him out after a wild party. Yes, there IS a story. Currently, it isn't posted online. However, that will change.

The bible was propaganda. Homeless Jesus is my homeboy.

by Xns May 13, 2006

sweet cactus chicken jesus

1.(n) when a large cactus has grown in such a way that a chicken appears to be on top, with it's 'wings' spread as though he were crucified.


2.(excl) a expression of surprise, usually positive. can be suffixed with 'christ on a bike', for added impact/effect.

1. sorrel: 'good lord, look at that cactus!'
vinnie: 'that's a sweet cactus chicken jesus!'


2. matt: 'hey guys, we still have some beers left!'
vinnie: 'sweet cactus chicken jesus (christ on a bike)!'

by true_pictsie February 13, 2009

Black Jesus

This is the real Jesus. Not to be confused with Mr. Jesus, YOUR JESUS, or Mickey Mouse Bullshit Jesus. This is the Jesus that you should thank for taking care of mediocre things in your daily life!

Shawn: So what is the deal, are we friends or not?

G-Sylce: I swear to Black Jesus is you pull this shit again, I'm going to cut you with my scissors... DRAMA

by SHenderson January 21, 2010

Jewish Jesus

The Jesus that beats all other mother fucking jesus's

*Black Jesus = ok
*Christian Jesus = LOSER
*Jewish Jesus = Amazing!
*Asian Jesus = Buddha

by Devoteorthedoxgreekcatholic April 4, 2010