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Jesus

He is obviously Hispanic with an uncircumcised dick the size of a tic-tac. He will ALWAYS cheat on you and lie about it. He thinks he’s amazing but in reality he has very low self confidence. He’s a sex addict who will always break your heart.
“I can’t believe that Jesus cheated on me with my best friend
“Why does this Jesus penis look like a turtle In it’s shell”
by Lukewarmlady April 2, 2022
mugGet the Jesusmug.

jesus

me, i'm very obviously jesus
Me: Hello
Everyone: Oh my god! It's literally Jesus Christ!
mugGet the jesusmug.
Oh, wait... Am I the Gojo!?
Hym "Oh wait.... Aw, I kind of wanted to be the evil one... Oh well! Still the greatest! Better than everyone! The Ole Reverse Jesus Technique!"
by Hym Iam November 23, 2023
mugGet the The Ole Reverse Jesus Techniquemug.

Jesus christ

a person who never existed, probably made up for fame.
That guy said he owns urban dictionary!

I bet 5 bucks he’s a Jesus Christ.
by THARSHEBLOES March 12, 2025
mugGet the Jesus christmug.

Jesus

Merry Christmas to all! I tell you a little about me.

I fucking loathe the Whore of Babylon Sarah for trying to steal Leon from me (I will never allow that in infinity years! Leon's is mines bitch!), but jokes on her, I got guns and U.S military experience. But anyways, I have fought in the Gulf War, Iraq and Afghanistan War, and have been stationed in many countries, including Germany, Japan, Guam, among many others. I have also met President Joe Biden and voted for him (still support Joe Biden btw).

I am a bisexual, but I have met my one true love, Leon. He is everything I want in a man, and makes me feel complete. I'm also Latina and my parents for some reason named me Jesus Christ, but hey, I love the name.

I'm a total butch girl and I like all things tough (I love my Ford F-250 truck!) and love America like no tomorrow. I also love guns and have quite a collection. I fight like nails! Black belts in all martial arts you can think of, and have some experience in Special Ops. I also lift bro.
"Why do you like Joe Biden Jesus?" - Some random friend

"Because he reminds me of my Dad!" - Female Jesus Christ
by JesusIsLeon'sGirlfriend December 24, 2023
mugGet the Jesusmug.

jesus

the definition of perfection a handsome boy he has beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile everything about him is sweet and kind he’s an extraordinary guy and he’s the person i’m gonna marry one day because he’s my other half
jesus is the love of my life and will continue to be forever
by hehehsjisus April 26, 2022
mugGet the jesusmug.

St. Jesus Malverde

'Dear St. Jesus Malverde, may my sneakers be tied tight and the pigs be fat and slow.
by ponderprotostar March 1, 2017
mugGet the St. Jesus Malverdemug.

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