Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"
by unitybacon October 13, 2020
Get the Jake Piper's fourth lawmug. The grandson-in-law of one's parent-in-law's sibling.
My co-cousin-nephew-in-law is a good person.
by Elivaldeq November 24, 2019
Get the co-cousin-nephew-in-lawmug. A set oppressive laws placed upon citizens due to the bigotry and close-mindedness of organized religion. But in Texas.
"Our country is being taken over by Muslims! Its going to be under Sharia Law!"
"OK, but look at Texas. It's already under Shar-yee-haw Law with its evangelical Christian population making laws controlling other people's bodies".
"OK, but look at Texas. It's already under Shar-yee-haw Law with its evangelical Christian population making laws controlling other people's bodies".
by Gabagools June 2, 2022
Get the Shar-yee-haw Lawmug. Milton's Law
"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but only when Milton is watching."
Explanation:
Milton's Law posits that the presence of an observer named Milton—or someone who embodies Milton's unlucky aura—dramatically increases the probability of failure in any given scenario. This law suggests that even events with a low likelihood of error are susceptible to catastrophic outcomes when under Milton's watchful gaze.
Corollary to Murphy’s Law: While Murphy’s Law predicts failure as a general inevitability, Milton’s Law suggests failure is conditional, triggered specifically by Milton’s presence.
"Anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but only when Milton is watching."
Explanation:
Milton's Law posits that the presence of an observer named Milton—or someone who embodies Milton's unlucky aura—dramatically increases the probability of failure in any given scenario. This law suggests that even events with a low likelihood of error are susceptible to catastrophic outcomes when under Milton's watchful gaze.
Corollary to Murphy’s Law: While Murphy’s Law predicts failure as a general inevitability, Milton’s Law suggests failure is conditional, triggered specifically by Milton’s presence.
Applications:
1. Psychological Influence: Individuals may experience heightened anxiety or pressure when being observed, particularly by Milton, exacerbating the likelihood of mistakes.
2. Statistical Anomalies: Systems, machines, or processes appear to fail at an unreasonably high rate when Milton is nearby, regardless of prior reliability.
3. Practical Implications: Milton's Law serves as a humorous yet cautionary reminder of human fallibility under scrutiny. It is invoked to explain unexpected failures in otherwise routine tasks.
1. Psychological Influence: Individuals may experience heightened anxiety or pressure when being observed, particularly by Milton, exacerbating the likelihood of mistakes.
2. Statistical Anomalies: Systems, machines, or processes appear to fail at an unreasonably high rate when Milton is nearby, regardless of prior reliability.
3. Practical Implications: Milton's Law serves as a humorous yet cautionary reminder of human fallibility under scrutiny. It is invoked to explain unexpected failures in otherwise routine tasks.
by Rampy9798 January 28, 2025
Get the Milton's Lawmug. The unspoken rule that towels' rights are less than any other person's, excluding towels themselves. Towels are not allowed to:
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.
1. Read
2. Write
3. Vote
4. Drive
5. Leave their designated area
6. Dry anything their masters say not to
7. Disobey a master's orders
8. Smoke, drink, or have other substance-related activity
Towels are subhuman filth.
Thanks to Towel Law, the towel was punished sternly by the whip for attempting to write a book about how to drive, against Amy Schumer's vagina's wishes. It was quickly rolled into a makeshift dildo-tampon and shoved back in. Amy Schumer stopped menstruating a long time ago, so don't worry. It's just super sweaty and gross.
by Niger Tits October 9, 2017
Get the towel lawmug. We need Jim Clanker laws, and we need them now! I don't want my kids sharing a classroom with a clanker!
by JohnALiberal October 3, 2025
Get the Jim Clanker Lawsmug. Step-co-father-in-law.
by UserXDXP April 25, 2023
Get the step-co-father-in-lawmug.