Porcupine Hand Job

When grasping for an object (such as wood or fiber glass) and receiving a hand full of splinters.

Dude, I was grabbing for a pallet at work and I got a Porcupine Hand Job.

by Dangod392 November 19, 2010

Masturbating with the Invisible Hand

When a person becomes sexually excited while discussing economics, especially Adam Smith's traditional economic theory of the invisible hand.

When Cody passionately rambled on about economics, his friends told him to quit masturbating with the invisible hand and learn how to play sports.

by goldman or bust May 8, 2010

Dead hand gang

Sitting on your hand for 10-15 minutes, until you're hand goes numb, then masturbating.
Originates from the UK television show, The Inbetweeners.
Also known as the 'Dead Hand Game'

I joined the dead hand gang last night over a picture of your mother!

by Cheeky Definition Cunt January 23, 2016

The White Hand of Saruman

This occurs while getting head someone while they are on thier knees and you are standing. When you are about to cum, you take it out of thier mouth and bust all over your hand. (Palm side, preferably the right) Try to cover as much surface of the palm and fingers as you can. You then procede to walk behind them and grab the top of thier head in a "claw-like" manner, so that your fingers are on their forehead, similar to the mark the White Wizard Sauruman made on the helms of the Urukai in the Lord of the Rings.

"She said she wouldnt swallow, so I gave her The White Hand of Saruman instead."

by Zer0tic September 4, 2006

pimp hand sanitizer

a hand sanitizer that kills 99% or more of bacteria on contact; usually consumed by pimps after pimping along time

Damn! That Pimp hand sanitizer works so well, my hand smells so spring-time fresh and clean!

Purell, Germ x, ect.

by Pimp Daddy Master April 23, 2007

edward 40 hands

A legend among modern men. His name was edward, and he had 40 hands.

Person 1:

"Dear God, does that man have 40 fucking hands?
Person 2:

"Yes. He is Edward 40 hands."

by a filthy sack January 15, 2021

dick in your hand

A. pose where someone who should be doing something more constructive but just stands there being a worthless maggot
B. Not taking advantage of a situation

Also a good chorus to a song:*slow depressing beat*
Standing with a dick in his hand
nobody understands
why he's standing *beat beat*
standing with a dick in his hand

song is usually sung after someone claims that someone is standing around with a dick in their hand.

Bill Horton: God dammit stop standing around with a dick in your hand and get back to work.
*********
Me: that fine girl was smiling at me but all i could do was stand around with my dick in my hand.

by kill yourself please October 3, 2005