Fake Work Friday

The Friday before Memorial Day when employees who are too lame to take a vacation day, pretend they are really working.
Said employees are actually passing the time catching up on their favorite tv shows online, organizing the apps on their iPhone, purging their Facebook friend list, counting how many staples fit in the stapler, taking a 2 hour lunch, etc.

Anna: "I'm going to go grab a quick lunch and eat at my desk, do you want me to get you anything?"
Max: "No thanks, I'm going to go check out the new Harry Potter movie at lunch."
Anna: "We have a huge project due next week, aren't you working on it?"
Max: "Nope. It's Fake Work Friday."
Anna: "Cool, I'll come with."

by Stella Ace November 4, 2012

CROWs (Cornered Rabid Office Workers)

the office equivalent of the disgruntled coffee shop employee

Intelligent underachievers who feel their work environments are suppressive and prevent them from realizing their full creative potential.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

jerk n work

When one masturbates right before he leaves for work.

"Oh man I cant focus. I need to pull a jerk n work today."

by BIGG DEEZY May 5, 2009

the unnaquainted postal worker

This is possibley the worlds most complicated sexual position ever invented. Requires 3 men a dog and a female amputee, all must be very flexible and missing most ribs. You will also need a pineapple, six feet of extension chord, a potato and a sharp pencil. This move needs a constant balance central fugle operator to keep everything in check. Firstly, one man balances his anus on a pencil, with his feet behind his neck. Then the dog balances on his erect penis and licks his nipples. The next man lays on his head, with his balls within easy licking reach. Then the amputee balances on her single leg, wraps herself in extension chord, puts a potato in her arse, rubs a pineapple on her clit and urinates on the pile. Job done. If all goes well, the big pile should resemble a postman with his hat.

A : Wow look at that, they're doin the unnaquainted postal worker.
B : Ooo i want some of that, gimme that pineapple.

A : That's fucked up, you need help.

B : It helps me sleep.

A : You sick fuck. Don't talk to me.

by ziggabrap July 9, 2009

Stupid piece of shit that doesn't even fucking work

A stupid piece of shit that doesn't even fucking work that you just wasted your time, money and effort on.

Physical Examples include:
-Computers
-Iphones
-TV's
-Basically every electronic known to man

"God damnit this stupid piece of shit doesn't even fucking work!"
"Why the fuck is this shit not working?!"
"Stupid piece of shit!"
"Doesn't even fucking work..."
"Stupid piece of shit that doesn't even fucking work!"

by Henrey S July 4, 2020

work

Firey place of eternal torture.
syn: hell

I lived through another 8 hours of work today.

by {CD} darkness June 17, 2005

Work Husband

1. The male counterpart of a female co-worker
2. A platonic, male, worksite 'mate'
3. A male co-worker that provides for your needs (i.e. snacks)
4. A male co-worker that provides moral support and guidance

Steve is my work husband; he came all the way across town to read my mantoux results!

You couldn't ask for a better work husband than Priestly. He always has snacks and treats waiting for me.

by Blackcat16 March 8, 2010