When a bunch of douche bags that have been telling you what color your underwear is LITERALLY while you walk down the road because its how security tech is SUPPOSED to be used, you stop wearing them, they get mad because they can't steal them and sell them to a prison. Basically, due to laser technology (something that does so many things there still isn't a limit yet) you get to be harassed but the same ones that ruin your life every single fucking time. on your 30th birthday they told you "no one wants old stem cells, so enjoy the next couple of ears because god knows we won't let you get married and the rest is cancer" --you enjoy you're time knowing they aren't lying because these are the people that have lasers in life. THEN they send a panties report, hopefully 700 pairs were enough because last run 699 barely made it. That honeydew list, makes me wanna get a melon baller and do it myself.
The panties police have a new schedule, my dad got a panties report the other day, perfect, stay inside from 4-10 or you'll be jail bait. If you look too nice, "you deserve it" and they don't stop till you believe it.
by tornadofullofpiranhas November 16, 2025
Get the panties report mug.by Inaluk May 4, 2025
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Used to roast someone whose body, face, or general vibe looks like a catalog of unfortunate events. Suggests a person is so clumsily assembled or physically chaotic that their entire existence feels like the aftermath of a multi-car pileup, a bio-mechanical malfunction, or some kind of cosmic whoopsie.
It’s not just ugly — it’s structurally confusing, like something went wrong and no one ever fixed it.
Used to roast someone whose body, face, or general vibe looks like a catalog of unfortunate events. Suggests a person is so clumsily assembled or physically chaotic that their entire existence feels like the aftermath of a multi-car pileup, a bio-mechanical malfunction, or some kind of cosmic whoopsie.
It’s not just ugly — it’s structurally confusing, like something went wrong and no one ever fixed it.
“She not ugly, but she built like an accident report — multiple points of failure.”
• “Why his knees face outward like that? Bro built like an accident report.”
• “Face giving ‘incident occurred at approximately 4:17PM.’”
• “That fit plus that walk? Yeah, that’s an OSHA violation. Built like an accident report.”
• “Why his knees face outward like that? Bro built like an accident report.”
• “Face giving ‘incident occurred at approximately 4:17PM.’”
• “That fit plus that walk? Yeah, that’s an OSHA violation. Built like an accident report.”
by Urban zai June 10, 2025
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Me: bro it’s that obvious ima report u
Player 2: u can’t report someone for not knowing how to play
Me: I don’t care
player 3: hey stop doing false reports
Me: bro it’s that obvious ima report u
Player 2: u can’t report someone for not knowing how to play
Me: I don’t care
player 3: hey stop doing false reports
by JDMF February 11, 2024
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