Mass Brain

A viral condition common in people who attend mass and then proceed to do their grocery shopping. Symptoms include a lack of environmental awareness, ignorance, inability to listen, dilly-dallying and camping shopping aisles in an attempt to figure out if they want to buy a product or not. This condition is especially common in senior shoppers who have attended mass and have now decided to slow down retail staff due to their lack of perception. “Mass Heads” can usually be identified by their woollen clothing, thick prescription glasses, slow pace and downright brain dead questions.
Old man : How’ya Mary? Any craic this morning?

Old woman: Ah John are ye well? I’ve a fierce case of Mass Brain this morning, the priest fairly blabbered on about the New Testament and now I’ve the notion to stand in the middle of a busy shop chatting pish.

Old man: Ah Jaysus! You and me both!
by angryretailworker November 24, 2019
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critical Mass

A supposedly "deciding" Sunday service that someone of Catholic faith feels that he must attend prior to death if he still wants to avoid going to Hell.
This whole "deathbed confession and reformation" bu**s**t just sounds like another example of "critical Mass" to me --- it sounds waaaaayyyy too "easy" or "convenient" a way to be evil and selfish all your life. How can things truly be "made whole again" if you've seriously mistreated others for many years, and then suddenly atone for it "at the last minute"?? There are still all of those other people whom you've hurt (and have had their lives ruined by your meanness) to think about --- why don't you make said "born-aginner" beliefs truly count by arranging for the restorations of those other people's losses, rather than just symbolically "making your peace with God" but still ignoring all the damage you've done over the past decades?!
by QuacksO March 18, 2019
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mass vax

The event that takes place when multiple fuck sticks are attempting to be vaccinated
I was waiting in line at the mass vax to get my shot
by Mainiyak May 04, 2021
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mass crasher

-noun
An individual who, while under the effects of drugs or alcohol attends mass and start making loud, offensive comments, interrupting the ceremony, and thus becoming terribly annoying and obnoxious to the rest of the congregation and eventually has to be kicked out by several people or ends up being arrested by the police.
Last sunday we had a mass crasher at church.

Jeremy is an habitual mass crasher, everytime he gets shitfaced on a saturday night he ends up crashing mass next morning.
by jay-x April 25, 2008
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Mass Bunk

We tried to organize a mass bunk for the duration of the class
by May 19, 2022
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dangling mass

The large mass of fat that develops in the taint of heavily overweight people that, when at full growth potential, can be impressively larger, or sometimes mistaken for ones member. Especially while wearing a spandex one piece dancing to Beyonce.
Did you see that guys dangling mass flopping around while he danced to Beyonce?
by RustyMidgetLeader777 December 02, 2016
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Stu mass

When a person is giving someone the stu
by The Dictionary of Bowdy May 25, 2020
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