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shotgun surgery

performing shotguns using a surgery. pretty self explanatory
I offered my patients three options for their amputation of their arms: saw, sex, or shotgun surgery
by professional_circle July 19, 2023
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Eurotunnel Surgery

When you accidentally leave your tripod in between two parked vans on the Eurotunnel and a one van suddenly rolls forward and the tripod is replaced by a mouse penis
As far as I know he’s the first person to ever have Eurotunnel surgery. It’s easier for him to walk now anyway
by MF95 September 22, 2023
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Plastic Surgery

HOOOOOOOOOKAY.... Okay.... So...
Plastic Patient "I did it to feel better about myself!"

Hym "That isn't a thing! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT!? HOOOOOOOOOOOOOH MAN! I'm heated! I'm tight off of that! Ok! Ok... That isn't a thing that exists. There is no 'better about yourself' to feel. It's like Santa Claus. You're trying to find Santa Claus. No matter how much time you spend scouring the north pole, you're not going to find Santa Claus. There's no Santa Claus to find! That's what 'doing things to feel better about yourself' is like. So plastic surgery, anything like that. It isn't a thing that exists. It doesn't matter what you do. You're never going to feel better about yourself. It isn't real. It's not a thing. Stop trying to do it. It's irritating to watch."

Plastic Surgeon "You know you can make a pretty decent living as a plastic surgeon."

Hym "I'm going to murder you. I'm going to kill you and I'm not going to stop with you. I'll kill and kill and when I'm done killing all of you I'm going to train more plastic surgeons jist so I will have more plastic surgeons to kill. I won't ever stop! Train. Murder. Train. Murder. That's what my life is going to be from now on. For eternity. Because I know once I start I'll never be able to sate my thirst for surgeon blood. Aliens will pick up the radio signals we shot into space and behind them will be the screams of surgeons, echoing through the universe. 'AAAHHH!!! AAAHHH! MY FACE! MY FAAAACE! HE'S CARVING MY FAAAACE!!!' "
by Hym Iam January 17, 2024
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Knee Surgery

A surgery that is performed in the knees and kneecaps, and commonly involves the tibia and femur.
Person A: "Hey! What's new with you?"
Person B: "I'm really nervous about my knee surgery tomorrow..."
Person A: "Is it that feeling when knee surgery is tomorrow?"
by The Devious 😼 December 12, 2024
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shit surgery

one who undergoes surgery of the Colon, Rectum, or Sphincter.
hey, are you ready for your shit surgery?
idk... im kinda nervous...
by GABEBESTX1771 February 26, 2025
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plastique surgery

What Achmed ended up performing on himself when he inadvertently hit da detonation-button on Hassan's bomb.
No matter how severe or colossal dat you perceive your degree of unattractiveness, there should be no need to resort to plastique surgery --- modern-day medical wizardly offers far-safer and less-drastic methods of improving one's looks!
by QuacksO March 1, 2025
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Jaw Surgery

when you get battered cause you're queer you need jaw surgery !
"OMG what happened!"
"i got battered because im a little gay boy"
"LMAO you need jaw surgery"

inspired by Joshua's heartbreaking story. We will always have him in our thoughts cause he is half metal.
by Emzz August 29, 2025
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