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Roadside Assistance

Warning: This move is recommended for masters ONLY!

The roadside assistance is a sexual move that needs a bit of preperation and good timeing to pull off. There are some guidlines to follow first.

1.You must be driving on Rt. 80
2.You must be driving in a 4-door sedan with your GirlFriend.
3.You must do this between the hours of 3:30pm - 9:00pm
4.You must pop your tire and manage not to hit any cars and pull off to the shoulder, unscathed.

After you pull off the the shoulder you call AAA (Triple-A). A few moments after you hang up the phone, you start to have sex with you GirlFriend. Once you and your girlfriend are about to climax (have to climax at the same time) you yell "TRIPLE A". At that exact moment the AAA guy has to come up and knock on the window and must reply "Yes?"

If you manage to pull this move off, you will be a god among men.
"So yeah, I was driving on 80 today, and I saw someone doing the roadside assistance, But then that damn cop had to ruin my fun by pulling me over for being stopped on the highway, trying to jack off to the couple."
by Kiji_Otori March 28, 2008
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Aim Assist

firmly grasping your dick with both hands when pissing to aim it.
When I piss, I never miss, because I use aim assist
by Boinkadoink September 29, 2018
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Related Words

liquid assets

Any type of alcohol (especially beer and liquor). This term is typically used in social contexts--but definitely not at a highbrow cocktail party. Use this term when you don't want to be blatant about your alcohol consumption (in front of parents, grown-ups, etc) or when you just want to sound fratty.
Teenage kid #1: Hey, dude, are we set for the party tonight?
Kid #2: Yeah, don't worry. My big brother already picked up the liquid assets for us.
Kid #1: Sweet. Thanks.
by urbanite2 May 31, 2010
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assetato

it means that you have a potato in your ass that was just pulled out
yo man check this assetato out i got it from your mom
by m0n3ym1k3y October 28, 2006
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assertain

slang for anal sex--to entertain someone in your ass
"Why don't you bend over and assertain me?"
by JMmm June 9, 2005
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Carpenters assistant

to give someone fallatio while they operate a power tool
Patty gave joe one hell of a carpenters assistant last week
by Gootee Root October 13, 2011
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to rub asses

A term used to define a situation where you are forced to be around and interact with a person that you don't like.
"Im going to my parents house for Thanksgiving; and I'm going to have to run asses with my brother-in-law."

"I'm going to work to rub asses with my idiot boss!"

"God I hate Tom. But I'm not missing Craig's party, so I will rub asses with him all night if I have to."
by Dustin Mousley December 27, 2007
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