Tall Law

Tall Law states that anyone under 5’4 is automatically short and that anyone who is not as tall as you is also considered short. You can be 5’5 but when someone who is 5’10 calls you short you cannot argue with it. If you’re 5’3 and you call somebody who is 5’ short then you are both still short because you are under 5’4.

If you’re shorter than somebody on National Throw Short People Day (October 24th) you do not get to tell people taller than you that they cannot throw you. You would be breaking the Tall Law.

“Ayo she said she can’t be thrown on National Throw Short People Day. She’s not under 5’4 but she’s not as tall as me so that’s breaking Tall Law!”

by YokoOhNo October 6, 2020

Jake Piper's first law

The mighty honourable Jake Piper has 4 laws, and his first is simple.

Forget the minus.

Fred: "Ah man I was doing this question and I got -17 seconds, what do I do?"
Tim: "Use Jake Piper's first law, you'll be fine"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's second law

Jake Piper's second law requires a bit of thinking.

Infinitely accurate time.

So time could be e^3 days, etc.

Perry: "Yo, what's the time right now?"
James: "Oh, five Pi seconds past 12."
Perry: "Wait, that's way too accurate, right?"
James: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's second law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's third law

Jake Piper's third law is extremely simple.

Just remember it.

Ian: "Damn man, I just cannot think of the capital of Mexico right now."
Rasheed: "Use Jake Piper's third law."

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

Jake Piper's fourth law

The last of his laws, it states:
There can only be three laws.

The law is a certified law.

Connor: "Hey man, I used Jake Piper's fifth law here and-"
Daniel: "Come on man, use Jake Piper's fourth law. There's no fifth law"

by unitybacon October 13, 2020

short law

short law is when if your under 5'4, you get to make fun of tall people. If your 5'5 and a short person calls you tall, then you are considered tall. Short people are aloud to abuse tall people as much as they can because to tall people, they don't appear as a threat.

dude did you try to punch me? i didnt even feel it.

Im short and im aloud to do that. its short law

by soybean101 October 15, 2020

Whittle's Law

Whittle's Law states that the only reason why someone or a group of people would willingly do something which makes themselves look bad is because the only alternatives would make them look even worse.

Using Bill Whittle's Law, we can know that the only reason why the politician admitted to doing cocaine is because if he had denied it then people would have eventually known both that he does cocaine and is a liar to boot.

by Demon Cyborg October 17, 2020