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Eyes bigger than my asshole

Similar to ordering too much food at a restaurant, “eyes bigger than my asshole” means when you’re horny and you think you can take a dick up your ass that’s larger than you can comfortably or safely handle.

This can also be used in reference to dildos and other anal toys
I was looking for dildos the other day and bought a 3 inch thick rubber dong, I can’t even get the tip in. Guess I had eyes bigger than my asshole, that’s what I get for shopping horny.
by Sleepyyykty July 5, 2024
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Half an asshole

Someone who's only half an asshole. The other half is smart fat batman who's lazy and gym rat iron man who likes going to the gym to get buff. Basically, lean chonky or buff with a small to medium belly is peak male performance. The small to medium belly acts as a calorie surplus reserve to build extra muscle and added raw strength.
Half an asshole can survive a famine, yes be healthy enough to make it to 65. Half an asshole.
by HawaiianPunch1 April 5, 2026
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tard pie asshole

What you say to someone after they rail you in the ass, give you a cream pie, then eat it out afterwards (Commonly used in a homosexual manner)
Fucking tard pie asshole, those backshots where amazing
by gogettemtiger June 8, 2025
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Schrodinger's asshole

Someone who decides if they were joking or not depending on peoples reaction to what they said. Usually in regard to a controversial statement or edgy joke.
Example 1:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"WTF thats antisemitic"
"I'm being ironic...I was saying what someone who is antisemitic would say. I don't think that. Take a joke."
"Okay Schrodinger's asshole"

Example 2:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"LMAO that is hilarious"
"Oh. Yeah haha it is funny. It was totally a joke and not how I feel about reality at all."

Example 3:

"I would love to suck your dick right now"
"Ewww bro wtf"
"I am kidding. Just joking. Clearly. Clearly just joking why would you think I'm serious?" *zips up pants

"Quit being a Schrodinger's asshole"
"You can put your schrodong in my asshole"
"What?"
"Still joking...unless"
by FreeProctologist July 24, 2025
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Lego My Asshole

To insert a red 2x2 Lego brick into ones anal cavity
by Fart noises August 25, 2025
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