major johnson

A saucy grandad with a 12 inch schlongg, loves a cheeky saville inspired bum in the shower. Likes to drive minibuses with 20 kids in the back.
"How longs the journey sir?"

"12 inches"

Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"
by grevs February 11, 2017
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Marlton Johnson

A God among three other people. No one has as much swag as the engineer of destiny.
Dayum. Marlton Johnson is sassy.
by Hester shaw August 26, 2013
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rye johnson

a rye johnson is an awesome leader and wing man all at once. he is often seen hanging with an ethan isenhauer. he has a kx 250 and enjoys long rides in his back yard. him and ethan are the future rulers of the world. both have a way larger penis than brian
imagine two people walking through a store and you get this weird feeling in your gut, there is probably a rye johnson nearby
by etard 9869 April 30, 2009
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Cummy Johnson

After you pull out, you cum in your hand and slap her across the face.
I gave Rebecca that cummy Johnson last night.
by DonniesGrapes January 26, 2018
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jimmy johnson

the act of taking a shit on a person's chest and then licking it for sexual pleasure
john: yo man me and this baddie did a jimmy johnson last night
stan: ah sick bro thats wicked
by jamarious quangle dangle June 03, 2022
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Alfie Johnson

An Alfie Johnson is a breed of alien that invades earth once every 23 milliseconds to steal a Big Mac Burger from a starving African child.

The Alfie Johnson breed has become very rare and are almost extinct due to 12 Year old kids accidentally raping them thinking that they are, in fact, 3"1 BBW Dead Nan's. There are thought to be less than 10 left in existence.
Fuck You Man, Why are you acting like an Alfie Johnson.... I need that Burger to survive!
by Sergeant Gay-ming August 11, 2017
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calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.
<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"
by stu in the zoo April 30, 2007
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