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schrodingers jerk session

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When somebody is both jerkin it and not jerking at the same time they could have sticky hands while nobody knows
Bludbro: i think im jerking it but im not jerking it

Blawg: huhh well how do you know

Bludbro: idk i just feel it its like the schrodingers jerk session
by Testicleinspectorangelgoat December 20, 2024
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Schrodingers Apple

When a hot girl could be a guy unless proven otherwise. For example by the Adam's apple that can't be removed
Guy 1: that girl is hot
Guy 2: watchout that girl could be a schrodingers apple
by Iamgay light July 8, 2025
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Schrodinger's Douchebag

Someone who makes a distasteful/offensive comment (Racist, sexist, homophobic etc), then tries to play it off after it doesn't land.
Guy 1 (Schrodinger's Douchebag): "Marlon mogs all of you? Yeah, but he's black."

Guy 2: "No, he's not."

Guy 1: "Oh, he's not?" *Nervously tapping on table*

Guy 2: "Have you seen his parents? They're white."

Guy 1: "Oh."

Guy 2: "I think he's just really tan. He does mog."

Guy 1: "H-He mogs us to oblivion."
by Dean Dihchester July 9, 2025
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Schrodinger's Douchebag

When someone makes a bigoted comment (Racist, Homophobic, etc) and tries to play it off as a joke after realizing the joke didn't land and it isn't the right crowd.
Guy 1 (Schrodinger's Douchebag, Clav): "Marlon mogs all of you? Yeah, but he's black."

Guy 2: "No, he's not."

Guy 1: "Oh, he's not?" *Nervously tapping on table*

Guy 2: "Have you seen his parents? They're white."

Guy 1: "Oh."

Guy 2: "I think he's just really tan. He does mog."

Guy 1: "H-He mogs us to oblivion."

(Later that day)

Guy 2: "Clav really tried to Schrodinger's Douchebag his way out of that one. We should stop talking to him."
by Dean Dihchester July 9, 2025
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Schrodingers Ragebait

When somebody says something moronic, and realizes that the only way they can come back from this is by claiming it was ragebait.
Person 1: I honestly kind of like league of legends, it’s a pretty good game

Person 2: That’s the worst opinion I’ve ever heard

Person 3: We can’t be friends anymore, person 1.

Person 1: Uhhhhhh… ragebaited!!! Hahaha.

(Person 1 is using “Schrodingers Ragebait”)
by Berba July 12, 2025
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schrodinger's vinyl

A vinyl record that has remained unopened or unplayed for an extended period, leaving its actual condition unknown. The record could be pristine, warped, scratched, or otherwise damaged, but the owner avoids opening it out of fear of discovering its true state—preferring to exist in blissful ignorance.
I still haven’t checked out that rare LP I bought in 2015—total schrodinger's vinyl situation over here.

Every collector has at least one schrodinger's vinyl on their shelf, too scared to find out if it survived years in the attic.

That sealed album is schrodinger’s vinyl; it’s both mint and ruined until you crack it open.
by Concerned vinyl collector July 16, 2025
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Schrodinger's asshole

Someone who decides if they were joking or not depending on peoples reaction to what they said. Usually in regard to a controversial statement or edgy joke.
Example 1:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"WTF thats antisemitic"
"I'm being ironic...I was saying what someone who is antisemitic would say. I don't think that. Take a joke."
"Okay Schrodinger's asshole"

Example 2:
"Jews run the media and congress and have no problem abusing other groups of people for their own gain"
"LMAO that is hilarious"
"Oh. Yeah haha it is funny. It was totally a joke and not how I feel about reality at all."

Example 3:

"I would love to suck your dick right now"
"Ewww bro wtf"
"I am kidding. Just joking. Clearly. Clearly just joking why would you think I'm serious?" *zips up pants

"Quit being a Schrodinger's asshole"
"You can put your schrodong in my asshole"
"What?"
"Still joking...unless"
by FreeProctologist July 24, 2025
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