major johnson

A saucy grandad with a 12 inch schlongg, loves a cheeky saville inspired bum in the shower. Likes to drive minibuses with 20 kids in the back.
"How longs the journey sir?"

"12 inches"

Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"

Watch out, Major Johnsons about

by grevs February 10, 2017

Gerbert Johnson

Fact Spitter

That young fella is a Gerbert Johnson

by Green Fella September 24, 2023

Fuckboy Johnson

This biggest douchebag on the face of the world.

Fuckboy Johnson: "Dude I can bench like 3543533532643634574574563454 pounds bro, fight me."

Bob: "Shut the hell up, Fuckboy Johnson."

by OneKillWonder September 18, 2016

jimmy johnson

the act of taking a shit on a person's chest and then licking it for sexual pleasure

john: yo man me and this baddie did a jimmy johnson last night
stan: ah sick bro thats wicked

by jamarious quangle dangle June 3, 2022

puke johnson

Slapping style of bass playing associated with funk music.

I been diggin' on some Red Hot Chili Peppers lately. That little ugly dude in his drawers can get all over that puke johnson shit, man...

by exitflagger April 30, 2008

Marlton Johnson

A God among three other people. No one has as much swag as the engineer of destiny.

Dayum. Marlton Johnson is sassy.

by Hester shaw August 26, 2013

calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.

<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"

by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008