guidodamus

Based off the comedy great Dave Chappelle's Negrodamus its is the Italian Nostradamus. Said to reside in the somewhere in the eastern United States, its future telling ability is world renowned. It can be identified by its gold chains and potent smell of cologne and over gelled hair. WARNING: Do make eye contact without prior acquittance, if you smell red wine or Peroni on its breath flee ASAP, do not be near its food unarmed. Garlic is not its weakness...its not a vampire...more like the opposite of a vampire...lots of hair and darker...more like a werewolf....but not like a gay twilight vampire....if seen please contact FBI immediately.

HOTLINE CALLER: Guidodamus what will happen to me in my life...?

GUIDODAMUS: Some one will make you an offer you can't refuse....and at some point in your life you will die.

HOTLINE CALLER: Wait what? That is stupid everyone dies, this is bullshit!

GUIDODAMUS: For further clarification we will have to charge you 10 US dollars a minute and 15 for everyone after that.

HOTLINE CALLER: Bahah FUCK THAT!

GUIDODAMUS: Your prophecy has been fulfilled...get em boys.

HOTLINE CALLER: OH sh---(BANG BANG)

GUIDODAMUS: Thank you for calling the guidodamus hot line

by therealguidodamus August 18, 2010

Gideon's Trumpet

A euphemism for the male sexual organ. Derived from the 1974 movie "2069: A Sex Odyssey", which is the first result on the internet movie database IMDB.com when a search is performed for "Gideon's Trumpet". As a euphemism, this phrase has no connection to the book of the same name by Anthony Lewis or the movie based on the book.

She enthusiastically blew Gideon's Trumpet.

by JoJoeJoh March 5, 2011

Gideon Gilmore

The Lord himself. Maker of the eternal and instant classic of instrumentation entitled 'A Dark Road,' which enlightens the listener to the meaning of life instantly. When heard for the first time, progressive rock legends David Gilmour and Jimmy Page immediately collapsed and knew their work was done, and the song was the reason for the death of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. If it couldn't get any better, the legend himself released a 1 hour EP called Gideon Gilmore, which featured masterpieces such as "Metal Madness" and "A Mental Descent" which instantly became recognized as the peak of human achievement and instrumental composition. Music teachers from all around the world preached to their pupils about how unbelievably good the Gideon Gilmore EP was and how masterfully Gideon played all the instruments.

Person 1: "Man, did you hear that new Gideon Gilmore?"
Person 2: "I know, it was so good but I can't even explain why..."

by kapperoni and cheese April 14, 2021

Guidette

Female counterpart to the Guido, meaning vapid, vain, and shortsighted. Located largely in the tri-state area or wherever there is a high density of Italian families. Can be spotted generally according to lack of clothing, and lack of breathability in said clothing. Often speaks in a high, shrill voice---almost like a mating call to attract guidos. Daily life consists of clubbing, tanning, shopping, perhaps exercise or work, and not a whole lot else.

If I spent the same amount of time studying as a guidette spends on her appearance, I could've gone to Harvard.

by bluebracelet November 15, 2009

Guido

An adolescent or young-adult American male of Italian ancestry or descent; esp. one of lower-middle-class socioeconomic background or status and thought of as being dim-witted, excessively aggressive, and prejudiced against perceived outsiders, particularly homosexuals and members of other races.

The Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn is widely regarded by the rest of New York City as a "Guido" stronghold.

by Anthony Brancato April 19, 2003

The Gideon

A creature of plight that dwells near the same location of The Shaw. Like it's neighbor, The Gideon possesses a great odor of the mouth. Most beings that come into contact with The Gideon are forever scarred if not outright terminated. Unlike its distant relative, The Gideon has only one useful appendage. All others are limited to a specific purpose. The most questionable appendage is that of a globe-like entity on what should be a neck. It appears to control all movement although that fact is widely disputed by scientists. Most all researchers do agree that this creature is not at all intelligent and fails in any attempts to disguise the inept abilities it possesses.

"What are you doing? You can't stuff 10 lbs. of shit into a 2 lbs. bag. You fucking Gideon"

by mickey July 23, 2004

GUIDO

A local of the NY/NJ area who's style seeks to emmulate one of the growing up Gotti kids. They prefer fake flashy jewelery,anything dolce and gabbana,armani, or tight and load their greasy heads with atleast 5 different hair products. They come in all different shades from Pale to Orange skin, love diesel,pumas,addidas, nike,kswiss,reebok, think they can beat everyone up and cant dance so they stay in one area and do multiple spins and fist pumps at the local clubs.

RAUL: Yo look at that herb with the sonic the hedge hog hair,diamond earing,yankee fitted, wife beater, and tan in the can complection.

TIM: OH THAT'S JUST SAL, SOME STUPID "GUIDO"

by UKNOWWHO08 August 10, 2008