major johnson

A saucy grandad with a 12 inch schlongg, loves a cheeky saville inspired bum in the shower. Likes to drive minibuses with 20 kids in the back.
"How longs the journey sir?"

"12 inches"

Lectures on windage may result in a cheeky finger and a smirk to wake you up.
"How long's your barrel?"

Watch out, Major Johnsons about

by grevs February 10, 2017

jimmy johnson

the act of taking a shit on a person's chest and then licking it for sexual pleasure

john: yo man me and this baddie did a jimmy johnson last night
stan: ah sick bro thats wicked

by jamarious quangle dangle June 3, 2022

Gerbert Johnson

Fact Spitter

That young fella is a Gerbert Johnson

by Green Fella September 24, 2023

rye johnson

a rye johnson is an awesome leader and wing man all at once. he is often seen hanging with an ethan isenhauer. he has a kx 250 and enjoys long rides in his back yard. him and ethan are the future rulers of the world. both have a way larger penis than brian

imagine two people walking through a store and you get this weird feeling in your gut, there is probably a rye johnson nearby

by etard 9869 April 30, 2009

Hannah Johnson

A girl who must be protected at all costs because she is a fitty

Adele loved Hannah Johnson.

by Chumlee Johnson November 7, 2023

Johnson Stones

Your balls are called Johnson Stones. Stones(balls) that belong to the Johnson(dick)

Dude! You just kicked him in the Johnson Stones!!!

by ZachJack September 7, 2009

calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.

<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"

by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008