Jesus 

A fictional character like bugs bunny or Anne Frank who is depicted in th bible, the largest selling fictional book on the face of earth. Jesus is said to have been a jew, but that can't be true because Jews are fake just like him.

Crazy Christian: JESUS IS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR, you owe him your life.
Sane People: Crazy Bitch

Jesus by Folger August 12, 2014

jesus 

jesus christ is my nigga

white priest rapping: jesus christ is my nigga

jesus by Yosuf Seidlllll March 20, 2021

jesus 

1) the christian's savoir
2) a mexican working at mcdonalds
3) a zombie

1) (said in a black woman voice) "praise ya jesus!"
2) (said in a mexican voice) "would you like some fries with that?"
3) ughhhhhhhhhh!

jesus by sillygooseberry. June 20, 2009

Jesus 

Adj.

Describing an object or action with greatness, or better than other things of that nature.

1. Hey Aaron, this hamburger is like jesus-in-a-box

2. Hey Paul, can I come over and play on your jesus computer?

Jesus by DJ Perxion January 8, 2009

jesus 

a magician that lived 2000 years ago,fooling the less intelligent and weak.He was the chris angel of his time,the only reason why we dont think chris angel is the son of god is because we understand magic and know its fake but 2000 years ago people werent so smart.

Damm jesus you turned my water into wine,how did you do that ?

jesus by nothing_but_the_truth December 23, 2008

jesus 

A man who, according to a somewhat-popular book known as the Bible, was the son of God. Jews and atheists do not acknowledge his existence, but then, neither reads a Bible.

Anyway, it is said that Jesus died for us, the worthless humans we are, and rose three days later to prove his holiness. Some nonbelievers claim he hung out in his little cave eating beef jerkey he hid up his ass. But you don't need to believe either.

There was only one man who expected from us such a perfect balance that we could live by the law and still forgive the deviation. So, of course, we killed him.

-Orson Scott Card on "Jesus"

jesus by Inyro November 28, 2007

Jesus 

Was murdered/nailed to a cross because he opposed the Roman's pagan theocracy!

The Roman pagan theocracy legalized child molestation.

Jesus by satan is gay July 3, 2006