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Alfie Johnson

An Alfie Johnson is a breed of alien that invades earth once every 23 milliseconds to steal a Big Mac Burger from a starving African child.

The Alfie Johnson breed has become very rare and are almost extinct due to 12 Year old kids accidentally raping them thinking that they are, in fact, 3"1 BBW Dead Nan's. There are thought to be less than 10 left in existence.
Fuck You Man, Why are you acting like an Alfie Johnson.... I need that Burger to survive!
by Sergeant Gay-ming August 11, 2017
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Benjamin Johnson

Benjamin Johnson is an actual god. Do not argue or attempt to reason with Benjamin Johnsons- they will destroy you in 0.003 nanoseconds.
If you mess with a Benjamin Johnson, your sphincter will be blown out of your body and it will be throbbing on the floor.
by 3XsInHisName,2OnHisEyes March 8, 2019
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Hannah Johnson

A girl who must be protected at all costs because she is a fitty
by Chumlee Johnson November 7, 2023
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Johnson Pack

"Bro I pulled a johnson pack black ice yesterday"
by OneFool December 22, 2022
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Gerbert Johnson

by Green Fella September 24, 2023
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jimmy johnson

the act of taking a shit on a person's chest and then licking it for sexual pleasure
john: yo man me and this baddie did a jimmy johnson last night
stan: ah sick bro thats wicked
by jamarious quangle dangle June 3, 2022
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calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.
<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"
by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008
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