Scrambled Porn

If you were alive in the 80s and 90s, you enjoyed watching scrambled porn as a child.

You see, pornography used to be broadcast on a thing called "cable television." But, not just anyone could watch it. You had to pay extra for that. If you didn't, the pornographers would "scramble the signal" which resulted in the channel displaying trippy and occasionally beautiful colors garnished with a fleeting nipple or better. The audio was also scrambled, and sounded like aggressive static spiked with moans.

Boys, it was awesome, and not in an erotic way per se. It seems silly to reflect on it, on my self, to see it in writing. Nonetheless, scrambled porn represents was a more human, more authentic time. And, I, for one, am honored to bear this priceless 90s artifact unto our posterity.

I was having a sleepover at my buddy's house, but I had to go home so I could jerk-off because we were watching scrambled porn.

by BigMayMay August 4, 2024

Presidential porn

...

Donald J Trump was feeling lonely in his office one day when he had a preposterous thought and decided to call up his fellow candidate Joe Biden to film some presidential porn. In doing so, he could get more votes and be re-elected. Biden came over, startled by the request, and Trump advanced on the man from behind when his guard was down. Biden moaned by accident. Trump smirked in satisfaction that his plan was working and with the new discovery of presidential porn, America would begin a new era of greatness.

by ThEcUrRyMaN October 30, 2020

Porn Mail

Receiving unsolicited links to porn from a friend or co-worker as a prank. Primarily done as a way to frame the recipient of viewing pornographic material while still at work/school.

"Mr. Weed, I can explain. I've been a victim of porn mail, I'm not even gay!"

by RustyNailTermz November 20, 2020

down porning

When it opens up and down pours and you feel the need to watch porn.

I was downloading porn during the downpour last Sunday, down porning!

by Angelic Kaye August 19, 2022

porn mouth

a phrase i came up with to describe having satisfactory conditions for having sex or watching porn/masturbating. for example, masturbating but having a bad taste in your mouth to distract you from getting off is NOT porn mouth. however, having no distracting residual tastes in your mouth would be porn mouth. this can also be applied to other things like: having just come out of the shower clean and bacteria-less, having just brushed your teeth or washed your hands.

me getting ready to dj the vj but remembering i just ate some sour cream pringles: damn it, i can’t do this, this isn’t porn mouth.

by JeisterKeister September 19, 2022

porn

Something you are most likely to get in trouble by your dad for...

You: looks up pornhub.com
Dad is currently typing...

by daddy is typing... November 29, 2022

Porn Mommy

A colloquial term used to describe a character or persona in adult entertainment who embodies the traits of a MILF (Mother I'd Like to Fuck) and is depicted as a mature woman, often a cougar granny, engaging in romantic or intimate relationships with younger men. The term implies that older women, often portrayed as experienced and alluring, are considered desirable figures in certain adult-themed content. It's popular for younger boys to admire older mature women, the older women are lonely old women. These women are commonly depicted as desperate and eager to please or help the younger guy.

Also a term for any older woman that you would want to see as a Granny or MILF in a MILF porn video.

Sara Jay is the ultimate Porn Mommy.

Fergie is a total Porn Mommy.

I wanna turn my teacher Mrs.Smith into my personal Porn Mommy.

My neighbor Mrs.Smith would be such a great Porn Mommy.

by anonymous November 20, 2023