pre-release safety-check

Refers to either:
(1) Where you ask a gal if there would be any chance of her getting pregnant before you "let go" inside of her, or
(2) Where --- prior to your letting go of a door and allowing it to close again after you've been holding it open for one or more persons passing through --- you briefly duck your head around said door to make sure there aren't any other people heading for the doorway, thus avoiding your accidentally letting the door slam in the faces of these previously-unobserved folks.

Clueless dude, speaking plaintively to a social-advice counsellor: I always make a point of performing a pre-release safety-check before I let go of a door after holding it open for others; it just seems like a lot of times, the folks who are inside the house or store yell at me to "not let the heat out" or "not let the bugs in". Well, what da HECK am I SPOSTA do --- just blindly let da door slam shut again and risk bruising someone's face?!
Counsellor (gently and seriously): Oh, nooooo --- of course not. I would suggest standing inside the doorway so that you can see both inside and outside at the same time simply by turning your head; that way, you can check for stragglers during the final few seconds while the last person is entering/exiting the room, and thus it will not take any extra time to be safe.

by QuacksO August 29, 2018

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ahe safety-net

A.k.a. "a**h**e insurance". Refers to where you habitually bring a really intolerably-obnoxious human along with you on potentially-dangerous excursions, such as on an airline-trip, into battle or a "bad" part of town, on a road-trip through natural-disaster areas like flooding or rock-slides, into a hazardous-materials area, etc., to better your own chances of survival. The theory behind this practice, of course, is that whenever there is a widespread catastrophe or other mass-annihilation incident, statistically the "nice" folks are usually the ones who get killed, while the super-nasty inhabitants in the disaster-area invariably seem to escape with little or no injury. So the obvious conclusion would be that if you "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer" (i.e., always stay right next to the acridly-antisocial hombre who's accompanying you), the Fate gods --- who apparently like and favor the mean folks, since they always seem to spare them --- will be hesitant to allow anything harmful to occur in your vicinity, since they would not want to risk harming or killing one of their precious meanie-jerks, as well. Simple, but effective, and a lot cheaper and more reliable than buying death/accident-insurance.

The concept of the "a**h**e safety-net" is nothing new --- it's actually just kinda the reverse of taking hostages: while the latter involves keeping desirable people close to you so that their fellow humans will not send bullets or bombs your way for fear of hurting their abducted loved ones, the former strategy also utilizes the "human shield" concept, but in the exact opposite way... no respectable human being would give a rat's a** if your cranky-natured companion were eliminated ("Good riddance!"), but the Gods of Fate would indeed wish to maintain the well-being of such miscreant, and so they will feel forced to let you live on, as well.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019

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