Heavy Metal Jesus

-Yahoo Answers R&S resident.

-To live in ones parent's basement. To be a big fan of OMG EPIC power metal, hence the obnoxious name. To have maybe two or three friends irl, at most, but that is expected considering you get wood while staring at your Manowar poster.

-To suffer from unwarranted self importance. Ironically, when the real Heavy Metal Jesus sees this definition, it will most likely inflate his ego and without a doubt inflate his little solider as Manowar has now been mentioned twice. OMG EPIC POSING. To really get a Heavy Metal Jesus tingling, throw in a little DragonFarce with a pinch of Iced Earth.

- To be a \m/TRU METAL!!!!!\m/ virgin. SRSLY, Heavy Metal Jesus is a self admitted virgin. He'd be a mot more badassed if he listened to Mercyful Fate, but alas, he is a purist, power metal virgin and is intent on remaining that way. Silly Heavy Metal Jesus, virginity is for idiotic straight edgers.
Death to false Heavy Metal Jesus!
by umaekmaehornie November 09, 2010
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SamuraI Jesus 2024X

The future in Samurai Jesus technology with dradle seeking crosses and teh nail gun from Quake (from his hands)-When he was created his prime objective was to eliminate Samurai Moses and dominate own all games of bloody knuckles...
"UR arse is mine -Samurai Jesus is bak biaaaaaaatch..."
by Ace April 20, 2004
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fluff your jesus

It is when you pick up your Jesus pillow and shake it and squeeze it in order to fluff it up.
You: Wow, this Jesus pillow is pretty flat. Maybe I should fluff it up.
Me: Yeah, go ahead, fluff your jesus.
by M-Dog August 07, 2004
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Jesus Christ Manouver

Riding two animals (or vehicles) at the same time by straddling on both of them, as Jesus did in Matthew 21:6–7 :

"So the disciples went and did as Jesus commanded them. / They brought the donkey and the colt, laid their clothes on them, and set Him on them. " NKJV
Wapow my brethren, check out my homie who trained two of his pet tigers. And holy crow! He's riding not just one, he's doing the Jesus Christ Manouver on both! How the heck does he even balance like that?
by Paul Stompbox June 26, 2019
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jesus walks with you

You are never alone, someone is always there when you need them. You are not walking alone in this life. Keep positive and move forward.
by Richard7 March 09, 2022
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Jesus loves you

A term used by people that are intending to steal from a store.
Hey, how are you?

Good thanks, Jesus loves you!

Ok

*Steals from store*
by buzzmonke October 18, 2022
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since jesus was an embryo

This phrase, often used in Navy circles especially by Benz's while chastising wannabes, means "for a fucking long time."
"You guys have been here since Jesus was an embryo and you still can't do the Chief run!"
by Billy B Bad February 15, 2015
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