Fecal Fondler

One who fondles fecal matter.

(Syn.) Turd Burgler, Shit Stealer, Crap Grabber, Poop Scooper, Loaf Licker.

see Fecal

Joe: What are you doing in the toilet?
Bob: Playing with crap!
Joe: You Fecal Fondler

by Crazy Eddie April 19, 2005

fecal beef

or, more properly, foecal beef.

n. The fetid substance within the colon that is the result of the digestion, or partial digestion, of a large slab of beef.

"Dude, I ate the biggest fucking steak of my life last night, and now my insides are exploding with fecal beef."

"Honey, what did you have for dinner at that convention last night? The toilet is clogged with foecal beef."

by BenTheGrate November 29, 2009

fecal stokeage

When your stoke level is at an all time low.

When a bro-bra shatttered both legs while schralping the gnar he was experiencing fecal stokeage

by lance buttermilk December 13, 2006

fecal lucidity

Clarity, especially mental clarity, that one is completely and totally wallowing in shit.

"I've been working on a project for my boss all week and last night I had a moment of fecal lucidity. There is no fucking way I will be able to complete it by the deadline because I have no clue what I am doing!" -Me

by MrMethod September 7, 2008

Fecal blizzard

When things just really really suck and your having a crappy time.

When you sit down to shit and your crap comes out faster than you can control, and you spray poop all over like a fine mist.

Dan's world seemed to be one big Fecal blizzard.

I drank a fifth of gin, and ate at Taco Bell today. Tonight the forecast calls for one huge Fecal blizzard.

by Aqua lung October 7, 2013

fecal terrorist

A terrorist who starts his attack by releasing silent fart bombs around an area, then shitting in the center of the area that had just been fart bombed.

*on an airplane*
Me: Ugh do you smell that? I’m worried there’s a fecal terrorist within our midst.

Buddy: I think you’re right, there’s a guy in the aisle dropping his pants now

by bowthruster01 January 22, 2019

fecal burrito

The fecal burrito is one of the simplest kinds of burritos to concoct. The fecal burrito consists of a freshly-evacuated log of excrement strewn out along the middle of a tortilla that is folded on top of said excrement. One may release diarrhea onto a solid piece of waste matter to give the burrito a spicy yet enjoyable taste.

That fecal burrito I ate last night really gave me the shits.

by Feces Astronaut May 13, 2012