Human Bidet

the human Bidet can be done solo, with two people, and even with a group. a solo human Bidet is when you take a shit and you pee while still sitting down and it rolls down your nut and taint and cleans your bum. the human Bidet with a partner is the same, but one person gets up and the other pisses on their bumhole, this one is much more effective. the group human Bidet is the same but with a bunch of people pissing on the poopers bumhole, this is the most effective variant.

"dear diary, today I shitted and ran out of kittens to wipe with, but thankfully I peed and it was a human Bidet, so it was ok in the end"

"hey playbou carti can you give me some human Bidet"

"precinct 6 get to hemorrhoid street ASAP, there's a guy here who needs some group human Bidet"

by clogmethroatwithshitmrdiddy August 3, 2024

Redneck bidet

When you are in the act and a dog come up from behind and licks your ass

The dog gave me a redneck bidet while I was going down on my girlfriend

by It's average sized August 3, 2024

american bidet

Taking a shit and then hopping in the shower and using the shower to clean off your butthole, preferably with a jet setting.

Yeah, toilet paper is a scam. I just hop in the shower and do the ol' american bidet and then use a little soap.

by Jobungus October 3, 2023

NICKMOODQUINCYMA BIDET

Spotting one junkie in a crowd eating another junkie's asshole.

Damn khed I'm so hungry I could even go for a NICKMOODQUINCYMA BIDET

by RealQIssues July 3, 2023

The Bidet

When you spread a girls ass cheeks apart and piss on her butthole

“Yeah I gave Mary the bidet last night”

by BigBasstard August 7, 2023

Appalachian bidet

When you have run out of toilet paper and you call your cousin Cletus or equivalent to come and do you a solid and use his stream of urine to clean your chocolate covered starfish.

“Yeah I ran out of toilet paper and I had to give my cousin a call to come and give me an Appalachian bidet to get clean.”

by Loganjaman August 16, 2023

Hotlanta Bidet

When a woman gives you a blowjob and salivates so much on your penis that it runs down your gooch and to your butthole, functioning as a pseudo-bidet.

Alan: "How were things with Michelle last night?"
Lance: "She gave me the Hotlanta Bidet, felt clean as a whistle afterwards."

by pv04 February 20, 2024