bridge-guarding

1.) Defending, through acts of aggressive trolling, the internet websites and facebook pages where an inordinately large number of conspiracy theorists and other wackos make comments like, "U suck an yor sight is a peace of shit and ur mothas a cunt." Usually the act of bridge-guarding requires the talents of a persistent and eloquent troll who has the ability to spell correctly, thus intimidating his subject victims merely by the fact that said subject victims have an inferiority complex due to their lack of education and their usually abysmal intellectual shortcomings. A troll who engages in bridge-guarding must be merciless but also must recognize when one of his subject victims may be about to commit suicide or harm others -- at which time the ethical bridge-guard will link to a national suicide hotline phone number and a website advocating for the treatment of mental health problems. 2.) the act of preventing a loved one's boyfriend from taking the loved one out for a night of binge drinking for the purpose of committing date rape, usually accomplished by punching the potential assailant as hard as possible in his groin and telling him, "When she comes home, if she's not sober and pleased with your gentlemanly conduct, I'm going to kill you, cut your head off, and drop you off a bridge and into a river." (An almost universally successful technique).

Asshole #1: Dude, I totally got bridge-guarded by her father last night!
Asshole #2: Too bad ... I was totally lookin' forward to fuckin' her brains out while she was unconscious.
Asshole #3: Yeah ... let's go post some comments on the CDC's Facebook page about how we think Obama is bringing Ebola into America.
Asshole #1: Fuck that. That chick's father is bridge-guarding that site ... and he always makes fun of my conspiracy theories and then puts up a link to Merriam-Webster's website and the National Suicide Hotline. That dude is TOTALLY fucking crazy and DANGEROUS! trolling cock-blocking

by THE DOOMED STUFFING November 3, 2014

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Bridge of Hope

Taking unwanted pets such as kittens or puppies and putting them in a burlap sack and throwing it off of a bridge that has a water source underneath.

My dog ladybird had puppies but we can't take care of them, so we took them to the bridge of hope where they can be free.

by Bucc nahsty June 22, 2023

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biffing bridge

The area connecting the vagina and the anus. The bridge between the 2 biffing holes.

She took it in the front and then I walked over the biffing bridge to the back. Easy traffic. Managed without Google maps.

by Silly Tilly March 12, 2018

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Bridge Friends

This is a group of seedy people your friend hangs out with when he is not hanging out with you or your primary friend group. You wonder how your friend came to be acquainted with these people and how he could possibly enjoy their company. Oftentimes, your friend is admittedly embarrassed that he is associated with his Bridge Friends. Bridge Friends are generally shady people you don't want to be around.They are also typically slow, have terrible senses of humor, and often wear jean shorts. These are the type of people you would expect to hang out under a bridge.

Friend 1: "Where is Jerry?"
Friend 2: "He said he is going to some underground luau with his Bridge Friends."
Friend 3: "Those guys are creepy, I don't know why he hangs out with them."

by DOMac March 28, 2015

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