Stealth Monkey

Stealth Monkey a Sex Thing Made Up Of Three Parts:



1. When a man is fucking a woman from behind and he is about to cum he will quickly pull his cock out and spit on her back, this gives the woman the illusion of thinking he has cum on her back.

2. When she turns around the man will cum on her face and then throw shaven pubes in her face, as the pubes will stick, she will look like a monkey who is into stealth activities such as "Spot Me In The Dark".

3. The Man will then torment the woman by saying things such as: "You Just Got Stealth Monkey'd Bitch" or "Ha Harrrrr"

NOTE: Only steps 1 and 2 are neccesary in the stealth monkey, step 3 is down to personal preference.

Stealth Monkey Thailand

by MrGaGa February 6, 2009

stealth mode masterbation

The act of whackin it very quietly, like when everyone is home or someone is right outside the room. Turn the volume down really low.

Yo man the other night I was so horny so I did some stealth mode masterbation.

by Trippinballs February 1, 2007

stealth piss

When you go to the bathroom during an instant messaging conversation and return without having to explain a delay in replying. Only applicable if the time you were in the bathroom is unnoticeable and you don't have to lie about your disappearance when you return.

Some people are easier than others to do this with; i.e. if a person is capable of talking for half an hour wanting a reply to make sure you didn't go on holiday, they are often easy targets for a stealth piss.

Person 1: "So how are you?"
*** person 1 walks off to go to the toilet without informing person 2 ***
Person 2: "I'm fantastic!"
Person 2: "I got paid earlier so I bought some really awesome shoes in town"
Person 2: "And then I bought like 5 new CDs"
Person 2: "Which I'm listening to at the moment"
Person 2: "Oh and I saw your friend from school"
*** person 1 returns from urinating ***
Person 2: "He said you should come out sometime"
Person 1: "Yeah I think I should sometime!"
(person 1 has performed a stealth piss, unbeknownst to person 2)

by JAKAZiD March 28, 2007

stealth shower

The art of pissing in someone else's shampoo or conditioner bottle, without their knowledge.

Before we left the party, I went into the bathroom and took a stealth shower.

by pagoatboy May 9, 2003

Stealth bummer

A man who has successfully concealed his sexuality to take advantage of his heterosexual friends.

Bert - "The pub went queer under the new owner, our lawyer friend. No more real beer, no more blazing fire. Now it's strictly for "style conscious gentlemen" only.

Bill - "Yeah we're done for now - nowhere left to go in the village. Sad. And we thought Mike was one of us. He was just casing the joint. Look at it now - all mirrors and pictures of fucking male pop stars and stuff and shitty music."

Bert - "Makes you sick. Our last real watering hole taken out by a stealth bummer!"

by bromp December 18, 2007

Stealth parttiming

When a full-time employee secretly works less than 40 hours a week and collects full-time pay and benefits.

Stealth parttiming involves mainly sitting where the boss doesn't get a good view of when you come in and leave. If you can get a cubicle in a shadowy corner you can begin coming in late, taking long lunches, and leaving early. Just hope that the company doesn't decide to install a time clock.

by North Central Johnny March 25, 2009

stealth slam

downing the rest of your drink when you near the front of the line at a club, bar, concert etc. it is necessary to perform a stealth slam covertly so as not to alert the bouncers or security at the venue. a stealth slam often involves the slammer's friends blocking the view of the fore-mentioned security.

trevor: yo steve, we're almost at the front, you better lose that beer.

steve: shit you're right, cover me, i'm goin for a stealth slam.

by jefftate September 5, 2010