Massachusetts Self-Defense

Locking yourself in the bathroom and asking an intruder to please take what he wants and then leave your house.

Because people in Massachusetts are not allowed to defend their life, liberty, or property. This is based on the liberal notions that if we reason politely with criminals they will surely not harm us, and that defending ourselves lowers us to the level of the criminal. (Since liberals do not believe in levels of humanity, this is difficult to comprehend.)

Oh, goodness gracious, a Pachuco is breaking into our home! Everyone get into the bathroom! We're going to practice Massachusetts self-defense!

by Bumkicker Slade May 14, 2005

preemptive self-defense

-preemptive means "to strike first"

-self-defense means "to olny stike once struck upon"

preemptive self-defense used by american spokesman in reference to "iraq war"

by Chris Younker December 6, 2003

Wisconsin self defense

Needless escalation of a tense situation followed by victim-playing on the part of the person who escalated the situation when their escalation turns against them.

I treated my cat's injury after he Wisconsin self defense'd a squirrel. He never learns

by Racoon Skittles November 22, 2021

In self defense

The university of Guelph Ontario Canada using its artillery for humane society treatment of mongrels, and coyotes

In self defense lock and load Eminem insured one shot.

by Cody5050 January 29, 2022

Anal Bead Self Defense

When you pull anal beads out of your butt to attack someone who is attacking you

I was walking down the street and got attacked but used anal bead self defense to escape.

by Frucé man XX68_69 August 9, 2020

anal bead self defense

i sell used anal beads on twitter

i had to use anal bead self defense when i was attacked when i sold my used anal beads on twitter.

by pp.penis April 14, 2023

Unsolicited rape self-defense advice

You know that was ME right?

Hym "You know that Unsolicited rape self-defense advice was me and not somebody else, right? In accordance withe Jordan Peterson's thing I want the credit for that I'd any of that worked."

by Hym Iam December 11, 2025