Kentucky Pencil Sharpener 

A vagina that is so diseased, it'd be healthier to fuck a pencil sharpener.

Xander: Bro, Miranda is so hot. I would pay good money to hook up with her.
Grayson: Nah man, big Pete got with her last week and said she's got a Kentucky Pencil Sharpener. He's been icing his junk ever since.
Xander: God damn...

Kentucky Pencil Sharpener by Ichabod's_Cumslave May 18, 2016

pencil squeezer 

Masturbator

Wanker

Onenist

Verse of Ian Dury song:

'There ain't half been some clever bastards.
Van Gogh did some eyeball pleasers.
He must have been a pencil squeezer.
He didn't do the Mona Lisa,
That was an Italian geezer'.

Also:

That rubber necked, pencil squeezer Ed Milliband couldn't organize a piss up in a brewery, let alone an effective government ...

pencil squeezer by D B Cooper June 6, 2013

The Pencil Show 

The Pencil Show was created by Hikari Yakawashi (Hikaness) as a fanfiction talkshow for Lord of the Rings characters (Doodles and Hika kidnap random LOTR characters and... "FORCE THEM TO REVEAL THEIR MOST HIDEOUS SECRETS MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" No I don't have a life. ^_^ But THANKS for asking!). The final episode was the 75th (which was 2 years after the first episode). For the first six months of it's lifespan, TPS was housed on fanfiction.net, however, on August 28th, 2002, it was removed by fanfiction on a breach of new terms. So, a messageboard was created for question-asking and a host for TPS found (still unto this day it stands.) The question board (dubbed "The Pub") was soon (replaced?) by Cardboardia. However, some old members make pilgrimages to The Pub and in case of bandwidth problems, members flood to The Pub until Cardboardia is restored.

Information by Lemonly and Hika (of course).

OMGWTFBBQ there's an update for The Pencil Show?!

The Pencil Show by Xylia August 27, 2004

Indian Pencil Sharpener

The act of taking both hands and placing them on the shafts of a man's genitalia and proceeding to twist in opposite directions much like an "Indian Burn" to one's arm.

Craig: Hey, Rick! You want a good ol' friendly Indian Pencil Sharpener?
Rick: Nah, bro. I'm still sore from last week.

Indian Pencil Sharpener by Imhereforyou January 24, 2016

mechanical pencil shit 

When you can't clean your anus after pooping no matter how many times you wipe. Usually a mechanical pencil shit is one that takes a long time to come out, so one begins to wipe prematurely before the whole poop has completely dislodged itself from the butt hole.

One's shit keeps refilling like a mechanical pencil: no matter how many times that one wipes, he can't get it clean.

This mechanical pencil shit took two rolls of toilet paper to wipe and I still haven't stopped shitting.

Mentioned by Adam Carolla on the Adam Carolla Podcast 8-11-11

mechanical pencil shit by pzeke August 14, 2011

Mexican Pencil Sharpener 

Using a knife to to sharpen your pencil.

"Dude do you have a Mexican pencil Sharpener? I have a huge test and I can't find mine! I'm freaking out! Haven't even studied!!!!! "

Mexican Pencil Sharpener by Rooster Jake August 27, 2011

Over Pencil Sharpening 

The term used to describe a person who sharpens his/her pencil every 2-5 minutes, (because they always want it sharp as it can get) resulting in their pencil ending up 2 inchs long the next day.

My friend always over sharpens her pencil. She is Over Pencil Sharpening.

Over Pencil Sharpening by Caitlin13579 November 3, 2008