Mortgage

The only reason you own a home.

I just closed on my mortgage. I'll be moving in to my new home next week.

by nudebuddah September 25, 2010

Second mortgage

Another way of saying "too expensive" or "I cant afford it". More commonly used amongst friends who like to blow their money on random shit.

pompous friend - Guys, lets go to the Ballet after an entire day of go karting.

working class person - Im sorry dude, Im going to have to take out a second mortgage to go, so I will pass.

by Abu B Sal October 3, 2009

morganeer

The art of drunkingly posing in the "Captain Morgain stance". Created on a whim, this drinking game became well know for it's ease of explanation and familiarity. The object is to see who among any number of people can stay balanced on one leg while lifting the other longer than all the rest, like balancing on one foot. All contestants must be noticeably inebriated in order for fairness to prevail. The winner claims victory and drinks 3 more drinks immediately for he/she is obviously less drunk than than the rest of the participants.
verb: morganeering

Late night games of morganeering can be fun, but beware the floor.

by Nucleoid August 25, 2006

Mortgage Mule

A man or woman who engages in paying the mortgage too long in a bad marriage or living arrangement, and then feels taken advantage of at the end of the relationship.

Harry felt like a Mortgage Mule. He took care of his wife and family for years, then found out his wife cheated, and was just using him to pay the mortgage, so she had security and a place to sleep.

by Mamahipster December 26, 2011

mortgage underwriter

A person who evaluates and mitigates risk for financial institutions. Underwriters are often under appreciated, underpaid punching bags for loan officers, processors. Often times they also become scape goats for upper management. Underwriters are also considered the most hated and vile beings within the lending world.

After asking for further documentation, the loan officer proceeded to the office of the mortgage underwriter and beat her with the stack of documents she requested and then urinated on her.

by Ldysc January 25, 2018

mortgage eyes

Someone who is boss-eyed. One eye goes one-way and the other eye goes a different way. One eye is fixed, one is variable - hence, mortgage eyes.

Look at that cunt with the mortgage eyes...

by WaveyDavey258 April 1, 2021

rigor mortgage

The feeling that sets in when you realize the value of your house is approaching zero.

How do you feel about the halted construction in your neighborhood?
I'm stiff with rigor mortgage.

by Robopoet February 22, 2008