That's how Jesus did it

Phrase said after something truly remarkable is stated; generally for adding extra emphasis on how amazing something is.

Ronnie: How did you do at the track meet?
Kristen: I just high jumped 6' 3''!!!!
Ronnie: Awesome, That's how Jesus did it!!

by IIIEvans July 13, 2010

Hooker's for Jesus

A group of prositutes who sold themselves for Jesus. They were very successful.

Wanna handjob? $10 from the hooker's for Jesus. Bible reading in the alley.

by Iam not Elmer Fudd February 2, 2020

That's something best left up to Jesus Christ

The standard bu**s**t reply that a professed religious-freak half-heartedly tries to appease you with whenever you ask a "tough" theology-related question that he does not actually have a "ready" or "satisfactory" answer for, such as, "Well, if God truly loves Mankind, why does He allow bad things to happen to good people?", or, "Yeah, right --- well, tell me this, then --- if your 'perfect God' is so kind and compassionate and merciful, why did He allow my {some beloved relative/friend who became deceased way too early in life} to die?!"

I get sooooo sick ‘n’ tired of hearing that stupid-a** wooden-smile-expressioned response of "Well, that's something best left up to Jesus Christ," whenever I indignantly fire back a perfectly logical question at a local Bible-blabber who is trying to "bring me into the true fold” --- hey, I'm not interested in waiting for "Jesus Christ" to answer my question "all in His good time"!! I want an actual straight solid definite answer --- and one that truly makes logical sense to me --- RIGHT AWAY, not in FIFTY BLEEPIN' YEARS or however long I'm sposta hafta wait to "receive divine enlightenment”! How da HECK can a supposedly-enlightened "born-aginner" except me to wanna listen to his b**l-crap preachings or accept his beliefs if he himself can't even come up with a proper answer to a simple query that a non-believer would logically ask him? Zheee-yeeesh --- he isn’t even following the “old Scout motto” of “be prepared”!!

by QuacksO November 12, 2018

Jesus stud

The best kind of Jesus lover. The Christian everyone wants to be friends with. Gets all the nuns.

I heard he goes to church every day! He's such a Jesus stud!!

by nailanicolle September 16, 2016

Jesus Smuggling

When a person of secular reason has finished explaining something, to the extent of their knowledge, and the person they are explaining to says, Jesus is the reason beyond that explanation.

Friend: Did you enjoy talking with David about the origin of species.
Guy: Ya but he kept Jesus Smuggling when I got to the primordial soup.

by Botched Toe September 16, 2018

jesus seizure

going into a religious based seizure that was seemingly induced by some kind of preacher, but is really the persons own doing. check out benny hinn on youtube, or that movie jesus camp.

The term can also be used when someone is buggin' out over something trivial

"what kind of church is this? pastor is knockin people out, givin everyone jesus seizures"
or
"damn dude, frank is buggin out about his girl. he's straight up havin a jesus seizure, lettin that holy spirit out"

by mkultraWUD August 30, 2011

jesus slutty

dressing in a way that a somewhat sheltered catholic school kid would find extremely provocative, but a normal person would see as tame

the dress code for the dance was casual, so all the girls dressed jesus slutty

by dascholar September 11, 2019