Jesus Dump

Same as Jesus Shit; Any bowel movement resulting in no need to clean or wipe

(Sees clean toilet paper after wipe)
"Wow, so this is how Jesus made it without TP (Toilet Paper)"
"I love a good ol Jesus Dump"

by C.Che December 29, 2007

Jesus Desade

An Internet fiend, who trawls the web for the foulest, most disturbing and unsettling material it can provide. Should be approached with caution. Has the sexual appetite of a thousand men. A thousand debauched men.

Jesus Desade parked his bicycle in another man's orifice.
Jesus Desade will fuck you up!

by Disciple of Desade August 21, 2006

long jesus dick

A haitian proverb about how haitians have fourth Johnson in whole world.

Mines gots a long jesus dick my friends! Not an smalls american one YES

by Juzztn December 5, 2017

Jess'd

Getting Jess'd means stating something to a group and being totally ignored by the group. Later another person suggests the very same thing and everyone thinks the suggestion is brilliant. The first person gets none of the credit for the idea.

"I suggested we go to dinner and no one said anything. Jane said we should go to dinner and everyone agreed. I totally got Jess'd."

by RunningKathy October 17, 2013

Zombie Jesus Day

A day where jesus arose from his grave after being dead for awhile! People were like " Ahh, It's zombie jesus!" and " Let this day be known as Zombie Jesus day!" but, the Church being the bitches they bare had to go and distort the story and make it easter instead!

Girl 1: Happy Easter! Ya'll!
Girl 2: Likewise
Girl 3: Ya'll some dumb ass blondes in disguise. It's Zombie Jesus Day not Easter!

by Black Lilac May 13, 2010

Jesus Droppings

Easter Eggs

When dad mowed the lawn today, he tore up some of those Jesus Droppings we never found at the Easter egg hunt last year.

by Sageindigo March 1, 2009

jesus dollars

Extraterrestial currency that Jesus will give OR NOT give you when you die, considering you make it into heaven. The amount you receive is based on how good/bad of a person you were on Earth.

also known as "jesus bucks"

Jeremy: "Matt is such a stuck up, arrogant, spoiled bitch. He thinks just cause his dad is successful, it justifies him being so argumentative and getting fat all day."

Liz: "Don't worry jeremy, it doesn't matter that matt lives rich off his parents now. If he makes it into heaven that kid couldn't even afford the value menu, cause he's getting NO jesus dollars."

Jeremy: "HAHAHAHAHAH!!! jesus dollars? i'm putting that on urban dictionary!"

Liz and Jeremy: fist bump

by J DIBS August 26, 2011