jared

A guy who is usually extremly ugly sucks major dick at soccer and eats butthole for breakfast.
Dude why is that kid being such a jared i dont know look at the white stuff on his face.
by Stuhna September 27, 2010
Get the jared mug.

jared

(verb) the swift concentrated motion of any elongated object back and forth, in and out of the mouth. While jareding, the person tends to use the hands, with the assistance of saliva, in order to keep a steady pace and safe motion going. Jareding is commonly brought up in gay men, due to their tendencies to suck on each others penis's.
Mr. O'Brien bragged openly: "I jared the best, and I hate leaving messes! I always make sure to finish it off"
Get the jared mug.

jared

A little man with curly hair and silent farts because his asshole is stretched who loves sucking dick and getting spin roasted by two hair fat men
Woah Jared you had a 3 some with 2 guy and now your farts are silent??? Wow, you’re such a Jared.
by John1199 August 31, 2019
Get the jared mug.

jared

A 19 year old who never fucking learned how to read
what up, I'm jared, I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read.
by doesanyonevenusethisanymore March 11, 2018
Get the jared mug.

jared

a vape god that vapes at school all day and clouds up the hallways. he is the most cringey person ever and when ever he walks up the stairs he clouds up the stair then runs from the teachers.He is a true vape god with a 1 millon billion trillion watt vape with the biggest mod ever. A true vape nation general
wow ur such a jared
by lamboboss678 March 07, 2017
Get the jared mug.

jared

a stupid fucker who can't even get dressed in the morning.
he likes hitting on married women and invariably gets beaten by their husbands.
he is usually retarded and likes literally eating shit.
that man just beat his wife's jared.
by gerard_capshen123 November 21, 2013
Get the jared mug.

jared

100% of the time it’s a dude with the smallest penis in the classroom. he can never make anyone laugh and he’s just stupid.
ha did you see jared’s tiny penis when he got exposed
by coopscoop14 October 08, 2018
Get the jared mug.